Why do guys repetitively ask to hang out?

OK that's my turn off right there...

like when I talk to a guy we chat and have a good conversation but when they ask to hangout I would want to but sometimes I'm actually busy so then the next day they will ask again! and I'm busy lol no joke. I take 5 classes in college and I work usually I don't have time to hangout and I tell them that but when they repetitively keep asking to hangout like... for example they will say...lets chill, when we chilling, wanna hangout? this is when I just say I'm busy because that;s a huge turn off for me like stop asking and being desperate like you don't see girls do that do they?

ok there was this guy and we go to the same college but before I dropped one of my classes I saw him on Tuesdays but just so you know I didn't drop my class because of him lol it was the class and I didn't like the professor and so on anyway when I did see him I guess he would get shy and won't talk to me but I will start the conversation so then when I dropped it now on Facebook he would chat me and say where are you I don't see you anymore we should hangout and I'm like we did once and you wouldn't even talk and he goes like sorry I get shy around pretty girls and I'm like well then how are we gonna hangout so lately I just stopped talking to him but now he keeps talking to me and what do you know he wants to hangout with me every single day now ugh...

and OK here is another guy that chatted me on Facebook and asked me to hangout with him tonight but I told him I couldn't because I have class at 8am and I'm kinda lazy so he goes like what if we hang out tomorrow? what am I suppose to say to that? lol I did say something lol ...

anyway all I'm saying is that why do you ask a girl that you want to hangout so many times? don't you get sick of it like she keeps saying no or something? at least ask us to hangout once in awhile or better yet let us approach because we will if we want to hangout

sorry if this is long I just had a lot on my mind...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I get that you are busy; going to college AND having a job is hard work and doesn't leave you with a lot of free time. And folks who don't have to work, and may also be taking a lighter load in school, will have much more free time and are probably used to other people who do too.

    Having said that, what almost ALL girls want in a relationship is a guy who spends time with her and pays attention to her. These guys are trying to do just that, and you don't seem to want it or appreciate it. But why else would you want a guy around? Would you prefer they just used you for sex and then went back home to watch TV and play video games?

    Instead of complaining about what they want, why not figure out what YOU want, and then TELL THEM what you want. Either that will be too different from what they want, and they'll go away (you win!), or they'll be happy to actually know what you want, and won't keep trying so hard, and you'll get what you want (you win!). The only way to lose is to not communicate with them and leave them confused.

    • thanks I never thought about it that way lol but lets say I really don't want to hangout with them I can't just say I don't want to hangout so I lie to be nice and say sorry I'm busy I have a lot of homework but then the next day or another day they will ask again and I'l keep saying I'm busy ...so should I just tell them the truth? but they will be hurt...

    • Again, figure out what you DO want, and tell them that. You can give them a little white lie and tell them that school and work and homework leave you with very little free time for guys (you won't hurt their feelings that way, and it's kind of true), but really, you need to know what you DO want, and then make THAT clear to them, even if you do have to hurt them a little to get them to understand.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • They are just showing persistence. It might sound stupid but the are actually trying to show they are serious. I mean, yes you are busy but, I guess there may come a time when you aren't.. I know you said you are always busy, but we're guys. E.g you say: I'm always busy so please stop asking and we here: I'm busy right now, but you can try again. Atleast when we really like to hang/chill with a particular girl.

    You also said let you approach us, but seriously 99% of the time girl DO NOT make the first move, so we have to.

    • well true OK I know 99% girls don't really approach but I do! and some do too but I know what you mean.

  • I really don't see what this guy is doing that is so wrong. If you want him to stop bugging you, you need to do one of two things. Either tell him your not interested in him so he can move on, or instead of constantly saying your busy, which is ambiguous, tell him your busy, but then offer up and time where you guys can hang out. One you have set a date, he'll stop asking you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Please don't judge them, they ask to hang out because they want to ask you out but are afraid you ill flat out say no, this is a way to allow you to get to know him as well as allow him to spend time with you, don't worry they are good guys

    • i know they are good but they ask too many times it kinda gets annoying

    • its because they really really like you