How desperate is this?

I like a friend of mine (the term friend is used loosely, we aren’t very close but more than acquaintances), and I’m fairly certain he is interested in me, or at least was at one point. The thing is, we’ve only ever hung out a few times in person, but have chatted a lot online, mostly via myspace (yes laugh, I make fun of it too and slightly judge myself) and aim. We also text, etc. All fairly flirty. (Note: we go to the same school, we originally met in person, this online stuff originated while we were on two different coasts for summer break).

We talked about hanging out a few more times in person but that never came and now whenever I mention it he ignores it but is perfectly fine talking online.

I’m sick of all this weird back and forth, so I'm planning on coming clean, but can't seem to get him to ever hang out and I want to do this in person. I'm not a fan on chatting online because you can’t friggin’ interpret anything without any context. And whenever I bring up doing something he doesn’t respond. It’s infuriating!

I know that his non-response is probably my answer, I’m not stupid. I was quite wishy washy in the beginning about my feelings so I don’t blame him. But I can’t stand not getting this off my chest. I’ve already invited him one last time to come do something. If he isn’t taking that then I had thought about just sending him a message saying, “Hey I like you. Do with that what you will.”

I know I’d lose a lot of credibility by doing that, and look lame, but at this point I don’t care. I just want to get it off my chest. I’m not even asking for an answer from him because at this point it doesn’t matter.

Thoughts? Do you think that’s desperate? He already considers me a very direct person (which I am) so I don’t think it’d be massively shocking for me to come clean, just the internet aspect that bugs me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you don't have his cell phone number than mention in an email or IM that you would like to talk to him but not over the internet as it is so impersonal. Please stop being so hard on yourself. You shoot yourself down as if you want to make sure you do it before anyone else does. I don't judge you for talking on Myspace. A lot of my friends and I do that as well. It's not a big deal. I think being straight forward is an excellent idea. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. If he turns you down or flat out ignores you than that is that. Don't let it get to you.

    • It's not that I'm being hard on myself - it's that I'm totally not an internet person. I just don't get it. Best example - my 90 year old great aunt sent me a message over aim and I didn't even know I was signed in. I like things that are tangible - so in person is ideal. However that seems impossible. I don't even care at this point how he actually feels, I've just been trying for a month to tell him this and so now it's sort of do or die. It's more for my own relief.

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What Girls Said 2

  • you don't sound desperate at all. you're feelings are totally natural! you probably know that, though. in fact, I think you're on the right track. about being direct, I mean. you kind of have to, at this point. if it works out, then great. if not, at least you'll know and you can move on knowing you did your best.

    good luck!:)

  • Who cares where/how you talk to him as long as you are talking/have some communication with him?!?! As long as they are texting, writing on your wall, or communicating at all with you it's a good thing! Maybe get his cell or something. I would come clean though if you don't get to date him first.