EMERGENCY: Is this guy playing me badly?

There's this guy I've been seeing for a month now, we met in December on a party through mutual friends, we talked a bit after that, not much, but a month ago he sent me a text and we texted everyday since then. we've been seeing each other on weekends when we come home cause we study in different cities.

we had already had sex, maybe it was a mistake, idk, it just felt right..and when we go out he introduces me to his friends or people he knows, he acts cute, we call each other nicknames, he posts cute stuff to my fb wall, also puts ":*" smileys, tells me I'm his and all that but the thing is..he has a lot of girl friends he talks to..it doesn't really bother me all that much at least I try not to, cause he said he "used to be cold and is trying to be less and less. but he cares for me"..

well yesterday it was the first time he didn't text me all day and I know for a fact he went out clubbing ..i'm worried as fu*k, what should I do? I don't wanna come off as a psycho clingy girl? help me :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I'm you know, impossibly old and stuff, so maybe my thoughts will be out of date.

    All signs are good, based on how he treats you. I don't think he's 'playing' you. The way he behaves is genuine, he doesn't treat you differently alone vs in front of his friends and so on.

    It seems to me that you are uncertain to a large extent because you simply don't know your status with him. Are you two monogamous? Is he seeing other people? My impression is its never been discussed. And its a reasonable question for you to have.

    There is a very significant difference between being 'psycho clingy': not trusting him, stalking him, not wanting him to have female friends, wanting to control him, vs. simply wanting to know where you two stand and how you should treat and think about him. He says 'you're his', well is he yours?

    You're allowed to want to know if he's seeing only you, and you're allowed to have preferences, and you're allowed to only want a sexual relationship if you're only seeing each other. He may not want those things, and then you move on. But you're not being 'psycho' in wondering these things. You'd be 'psycho' if you didn't trust what he said in spite of their being no reason not to.

    So go ahead and ask him. And then, unless there's reason not to, trust him, and relax.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think you should wait and when he will reply you then you can ask your question to him, I don't think he is playing, if he is so don't let him to play with you.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think you need to relax.You guys are not a couple as of yet AND its probable that he is busy...maybe that's why he didn't message you.AND its just one day that he didn't message you!Maybe you guys should have a talk concerning what you are doing together and that just might put your heart at ease...but for right now...relax. :)

  • It sounds to me like you two haven't had the "are we exclusive" talk yet. He's probably just keeping his options open at this point until he realizes that you aren't OK with it.

    Have you told him how you feel when he's with other women? I wouldn't like it either but until you have that conversation you can't get mad it he's still playing the field.

    Just don't call/text him too much, let him initiate...you may def come off too clingy.

    Good Luck!

  • You're being a tad bit jealous and needy :P

    Look, he's entitled to have friends who are women. If you trust him, it shouldn't be a problem. Having friends who are girls does NOT mean he has any kind of non-platonic relationship with them.

    Also, he's entitled to go clubbing and it does not mean he is out doing anything shady. If he didn't text all day, maybe he was busy or whatever. That's really not a problem.

    Let him make contact today, then ask how his night was and whatnot. If you have concerns over particular women and they are valid, ask him about it. I think you're overreacting though, and if you think about this logically it's really not a problem at all.