What is wrong with this guy and what should I do?

Basically met a guy through a friend 2 weeks ago. He was a great guy, great dancer, great singer, incredibly smart and very charismatic. He just arrived since one month ago and obviously is trying to make new friends, so we've welcomed him into our social circle(i.e. whenever we are out we call him to join us).

During these past 2 weeks he has been on a mass texting rampage, where he would ask every single one of the girls in our social circle out to hang out with him or to hang out in his place. If one said no, he will continue pursuing, then give up, and move to the next girl. Scary thing is because we are all so close we all know what has been going on. He has even tried going for girls who had boyfriends WITHIN the social circle.

Now while all of this was going on, I was unaware of it and of course he approached me last(also because the guy who introduced him to our social circle is like one of my best friends and he did tell this "serial-texter" that he better not approach me unless it is something serious because I'm someone who doesn't just want to sleep around. He STILL approached me, but it all seemed so innocent etc..went on a date with him and things were fine. Actually, I'm going to admit the past two dates I had with him, it was fun and we had quite a lot in common(could even see him as a friend if I wasn't attracted kind of thing). Of course, by the end of the night after the second date he tried to invite me back to his place and I said no(he got kind of offended and walked off). Since then he STILL won't stop texting me.

A part of me feels kind of bad for this guy because without this serial texting/desperation..whatever you will call it he was completely fine! Should I talk to him? I just feel bad because he is a new guy in town, has no friends and has basically screwed himself over but he seems to be blind to it because he won't stop texting me to hang out with him. I feel so bad ignoring him as well...Everyone in my social circle has told me to give up and stop being too nice and to ignore him.

What should I do>.<


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What Guys Said 1

  • First of all don't go on dates with him, your only keeping the game going because he thinks he has a chance. If you want him to still be in your group of friends, just ignore his advances and texts, and hopefully he'll give up, even though it may take a few months for him to get tired as well as take the hint. Many guys view almost any girl (assuming she is attractive) as a potential mate, we are less selective, hence he is texting everyone. He's casting out his line and seeing if any fish bite. He's in a new environment, which means not only making new friends, but finding new girls to either date or have sex with. Will I can understand his behavior, I will admit that he is being a bit aggressive. Just be careful you don't give him false hopes that keeps him coming. Have your guy friends text him when getting together to hang out. If the same girl is texting him every night, he's going to think she likes him. My group of friends has been together since the beginning of HS (we're all out of college now), and everyone has dated or had sex with a few people in the group. Its like musical chairs, we all give each other a try and see if things work out. We're all past that now and are strictly just friends, but the point is, his behavior isn't as outlandish as you might think, considering he is in a new group of friends, who seems to be filled with plenty of girls.


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