Contact or No Contact, That is the Question

I have been talking with this woman for several months now. We've only gone out a few times because we both live fairly busy lives .Not much time for each other I travel a lot for work and she's pursuing law enforcement. Unfortunately most of our conversations are done via text messaging, I don't think she's big on talking on the phone, I could be wrong.

After our last date about a month ago it seemed to me that we were starting to get closer. Yet still no intimacy other than holding each other’s hand. I've tried but I think she holds back because of fear of comitment from previous cheating boyfriends and a restraining order. So I give her space and I don't pressure her for anything. Anyways a couple weeks ago she sends me a text message in the morning about her having dreams about me. Then that same week she sent me a message at around one in the morning just to say that she was thinking about me a few days later I get a blank text from her. She had nothing to say so I never responded. At this point I am feeling pretty confident about her developing some sort of feelings for me.

Now here is where I get confused, she turns hot and cold for no apparent reason. A couple weeks ago I sent her a text simply saying good morning, I woke up thinking about you and it made me smile. I was hoping to put a smile on her face and let her know that I was thinking of her at the same time. I never got a reply to that message so I just figured she was busy and I would hear from her later. I never did. I waited a couple days and tried to text her again and again no reply. Now understand this is not like her, usually she will reply to my text fairly quickly, but now nothing. I didn't panic; I waited till the following day which was last Sunday to call her and make sure everything was good and to let her know I was leaving for the week to the east coast the next day. We talked for over an hour about the problems she was having at work and how it was affecting her. I tried to comfort her and I asked her out for the following weekend, St Patrick’s Day when she informed me that she was leaving for New York for two weeks and would not be around but she would keep me updated.

Now it’s been a week since that call. I'm back in town and I have not heard a word from her. To be honest with everyone I can't stop thinking about her, I even had a dream about her last night. This is not at all like me considering we have not been intimate in any way just yet. Now my question is should I try to contact her with a quick text to see how she is doing. Sould I give her space and wait till she's supposed to get back or should I just next her. I want to send her a text that lets her know that I am buried over my head with work but I still can't get her off my mind but I don't know if I should. What does everybody think about this and how would you recommend I proceed? Opinions are much appreciated, Thanks.


Last time I talked to her we talked about trips we were taking for work. Myself to Virginia and her to New york. I asked her out for the next weekend and she said that she would be gone for two weeks and would keep me updated. That was the last time we talked/text. I haven't initiated anything since then. I figured if she was intersted she would want to talk to me, right. I feel like a boy with a crush. Should I reach out to her again, do I wait until she comes back next week or just give up?
I'm clueless what her fellings are towards me. A couple weeks ago she was having dreams about me and texting at midnight that she was thinking abou me. I've made enough bad decisions when it comes to women in my life. I thought I was pretty good at sorting out a keeper from a waste of time. I know that this one has something special about her when she isn't afraid to show it. I don't give up on anything in life and am always willing to take a risk, but if she's given up on me, time to move on.


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What Girls Said 1

  • is it usual for her to not respond to your texts in a timely manner or is this something new ... maybe she's a little intimidated by your seeming eagreness ... I know how I feel if someone is too in my face too soon I retreat and need to think things through ... maybe that's what she's doing ... I would give her a bit more space

    • Most of the time she responds fairly quick but over the last week she left me hanging twice. Not sure if I'm trying to hard or not hard enough .I'm clueless that's why I'm here. I mean I think I give her a lot space, I only text every few days.I want to talk to her on the phone every day but don't in fear of seeming to needy/clingy. I was gonna give up on her but I tried once more and called. We talked for over a hour about how stress at work was keeping her up and other problems she was having

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    • OK, first thing is thank you for taking the time to help me. I very much appreciate it. OK back to my female problems. I think I have already taken a huge step back. I mean I've sent her 3 text and tried to call once since early March. Considering we use to chat a few times a week, I have definitely backed off. I also try to live life to the fullest no matter what the situation. But I can't get her out of my head no matter what I do. Do I never contact her again or keep fighting for what I want?

    • Personally I wouldn't contact her again ... like you say you've tried 4 times since early March and nothing back ... it's not fair on your ... time to cast your net wider and find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated and not just as a plaything to be picked up and put down when they feel like it ... keep me posted !

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