I have pulled away a little, not initiating contact. I need some desperate advice.

So for the past 2 years I've become really close with this girl (we'll call her S). We've dated on and off a couple of times but never made anything Official because she has "daddy Issues" and just hasn't ever really been a girlfriend kind of a girl up to this point (except this one douche she dated years ago who basically ripped her apart and tore out her heart). Regardless of what our situation has been at times, we remained real close friends but I have pulled away a little, not initiating contact, or making plans to do things mostly because I know I'm crazy for her and she's just not into the dating scene. By me pulling away she's been coming to me more and more and Its awesome, but I don't look into it too much because I feel in the end it'd be the same story different day. Well recently I was talking to a friend who said that she knew some things about S...My friend said she has talked to one of S's best friends and said that she runs through guys like nothing and at one pint was "already getting tired of me and that I was trying to get too close" . I was also told that my friend has seen text messages from S kind of joking at the fact that shed leave my house to go to another one of her 'friends'. The thought of this just has me has me blind with fury, but my friend made me swear that I wouldn't say anything to her because then I'd get her in trouble...Well I found out that these text messages were from around September when I was really just friends with her and not seeing her that much, and the f***ed up this was, I was kind of seeing another girl at the time and sometimes would do the same thing! I guess karma really is a bitch, but now I'm stuck in this situation of A) Confronting her about leaving my house and going to another guys house among other things, when I swore I wouldn't tell B) Just take it easy and keep doing what I'm doing (having a decent relation ship w this girl but playing the field in hopes that one day things will work out) or C) just tell he to go to hell all together, which would be really tough because she is my sister-in-laws good friends and she's ALWAYS going to be there when we all go out. I haven't told anyone else about the text messages, but even before that, my friends have told me to forget about it because It's a lost cause but I want your take.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't do nor A nor B nor C.

    Just ignore her and when she comes asking for attention (she will), just say: oh, well, I'm not really into this anymore, you know?

    I wouldn't hope for it anymore, if there was something in the future for the two of you, she wouldn't be treating you this way (and would you really wanna be with a girl that plays like that?).

    If you just act like this (not initiating contact, but no lovey-dovey sweetness anymore) she'll wonder what's up with you, she's not gonna think: oh darn, he knows!

    Don't let her know you know, just play it cool and just ignore her half of the time. If you're into her, it's best you don't hear or see her that often anymore so you can get over it :)

    • This is my favorite advice that I've gotten yet. I've been playing it cool for a while now, and she's been trying to be around more and more, and its harder and harder to deny her. It's going to be hard to not see her because she's a part of our group of friends, so she's basically always going to be around. My issue is what if this "playing it cool" makes her come around and she wants to be with me? Do I give it another try?

    • Show All
    • If she turns round and is all sweetiepies and cupcakes with you, don't forget the way she acted and treated you. Karma will come round, lol (sometimes not when I want it, but..)

      No problem! Wish you the best of luck :)

    • Oh trust me I know, I won't fall into it right away and be straight forward with her from the start IF that happens. I appreciate it!

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