I need some advice now!!! Plzz!

So I met this guy on an online dating site bout 4 months ago from day one it has been incredible we established ourselves in a relationship after only 3 weeks and last week we started making plans to move in together in July. I know its soon but this has all felt so right and been perfect. We spend about every other day together...I have given him the benefit of the doubt because I have had no reason not to.

WELL maybe there are times his phone is off or he didn't answer or something but when he tells me something like he was sleeping or something I have had no reason to not believe him he works midnights...

Tonight I couldn't sleep and I got on the website where we met and (mouth gasping) He added two new pictures which he had also texted to me just the other day and changed his intentions to not looking for anything serious just dating (when I found him he was looking for something serious) WTF do I make of this is he not looking for anything serious because he found something serious with me and just looking for something on the side? I am speechless I left him a message on there asking him if he is going to continue looking for someone else because I would appreciate if he's gonna sh*t on my trust and keep his options open that he would be grown and let me know...I need some advice Its 4 am and now I am wide awake and don't even know what I am gonna say to him (keep in mind us moving in together was his idea and he asked me why would you do something like that if your intentions are to be a bastard?

I have no idea why everyone is coming at me like I was wrong for checking up on him. Like I don't deserve to know what he is telling me is true yes I am getting to know him but I can only trust him so much without the time of it being proven. If I was never to check I would have never found out that he might still have intentions of dating other people when he has said and told me this is what he wants and he is not seeing or have any plans of seeing anyone else I am an open book check me
anyways I did Talk to him about it and ask him why he would keep his account updated and if he plans on dating other people because if he plans on still looking around then we definitely have to slow this down he really gave me no answer besides he didn't know I would be checking up on him and didn't think it was a big deal and he deleted his account as far as I know...but I am still beside myself and his phone has been off tonight. So I am sure he will call tomarrow with some reason :(


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you're making a massive mountain out of a molehill.

    I mean, if he was as paranoid as you, for example, he could just fly into a "WHAT WERE YOU DOING GOING TO THAT WEBSITE?" tantrum, couldn't he?

    I mean, you're moving in with this guy. Why do you go to a dating site? Are you not happy with him? Considering dumping him? Having an affair with another guy? Looking for something new?

    I'm sure you would say there was a very reasonable explanation for why you would go to a Dating website.

    And maybe he would listen to you. Maybe he wouldn't jump to conclusions and accuse you of anything.

    Or maybe he'd be just as paranoid and insecure as you, and prefer to let threats and accusations and ultimatums speak for themselves.

    • ^ totally agree, and the fact that she wants an answer RIGHT NOW also speaks to her controlling nature. You need to calm down sweetie, because you just met this guy and you have no idea what kind of person he is. You're in the "honeymoon phase" where its nothing but lust and hormones.

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    • You skillfully avoided answering the basic question of why you went to the site when you're in a relationship.

    • NO I didn't I went on the site for the purpose of looking at his account I have trusted him and given him the benefit of the doubt from the beginning but it has only been 4 months and might need a bit of reassurance here and there to make sure I've been doing the right thing by doin that this is the first time in 4 months and I thought I would get on there and find nothing in all honesty so the fact I did was a bit upsetting and I asked for answers not because it was 4 am and I needed to talk

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