WORST TIMING EVER. Two women, one me, wtf do I do?

i dated a girl for 5 years, and we broke up late last summer. it didn't have to do with us, she was just going through a lot in her personal life and wasn't in a mental state to be in a relationship. that's a long story, so I'll skip it. at the time though, there was another guy in the picture (turned out it wasn't what I thought, at least on her end) and I was upset about that. my heart was broken but I was angry too, so I kind of wrote her off, despite her attempts to contact me.

during that time, I met another girl. she lives out of state and was potentially moving back where I live and where she's from for grad school. on paper, she's PERFECT. really hot, really smart, really cool, and loves football as much as I do...they don't make enough like her, lol. anyway, she was home at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we hung out a few times then. we were clearly into each other, but she lived out of state and had a boyfriend (that she was supposedly about to break up with) so nothing happened between us. but a connection was definitely there. anyway, after Christmastime, I got a 'happy new year' text from her, and that was the last I heard from her.

around new year's, my ex came back around, professing her love for me and yadda, yadda (which I don't mean to dismiss like that, I believe she feels that way). I still love her too, and I told her that, but said I couldn't just jump right back into it. she understood, and we've been talking regularly again, although she lives out of state right now too, so I haven't seen her. so in Facebook status terms "it's complicated" right now. so TECHNICALLY I'm free to hook up, do whatever, etc.

so it's been cool lately, I go to parties and stuff, and I don't necessarily go looking for girls, but the option is open if I want. but anyway...all of a sudden, an hour ago I get a text from the other girl, who I haven't heard a word from in three months. she asks how I am, I say "good, how are you?" and she responds that she's pretty good, she's just dealing with her grad school decision and "some other major transitions", which I'm thinking means she broke up with her boyfriend, who she was living with. when she had a few drinks in her at Christmastime, she told me she "really liked me" and kept "almost" kissing me, like she'd lean in, but would catch herself and veer off at the last second and kiss my neck or cheek. so I know she's down.

anyway, I don't know what to do if she comes here. I want her SO bad, but I also love my ex or whatever you call her. it'd be easier if she just wanted to hook up, but I feel like she's factoring me into her decision on moving, grad school, etc. she seems awesome, but obviously I still barely know her.

what do you guys and gals think I should do? ultimately, I'd like to have my cake and eat it too, lol, but not at the expense of anyone's feelings, I don't live like that!



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  • Until that other girl moves into your state, have fun with your ex. Then, dump your ex and go for the other girl if she does move to your state. If not, you'll have your ex as a back up.