If he doesn't know what he wants...

I dated this guy for two months. Things moved really fast but they were good. We had exchanged keys and were spending every night together. He took me everywhere and I met his best friends & some family.

A couple of weeks ago the s*** hit the fan when I realized he wasn't over his ex. I knew they still talked and she left him for her ex over a year ago but I didn't know they were still seeing each behind her boyfriend back until a few weeks before we met. She didn't leave him alone so he can't get over her and he sees it as she still cares. he said he can't ignore anyone. he.s tried to break contact but it pissed her off. He puts her first before me and his friends.

she lied and said she was engaged, that's when he asked if we can slow things down cause he didn't know what he wants. He knows she's not going to leave her boyfriend but he said it's hard not to have feelings for her cause before me they saw each other nearly everyday for over a year.

She was only his second relationship. He was with his high school sweetheart for 6 years and he got over her when he met this girl and mainly cause she broke all contact.

He says he cares about me and he missed me when I went out of town last week. I really want to be with him but I don't want to be second to his ex. I told him he had to put me first.

Guys, have you been here before? How much time should I give him to figure things out? I just talked to him yesterday so I don't want to nag him everyday.

Also, I don't like to play games or be used. Should I withhold sex until he figures he wants to be with me? Or is there something else I can do or say?

He asked me to be patient but can't tell me how long he needs. I guess my main question is how long would take you to figure things out?


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  • I'd say the hell with him I'm not going be be waiting around for him either