4 months on now...Do I ask her out officially or play it cool?

So I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point,

I've known this girl for about a year and a bit personally, and in that time she was asking me for advice about breaking up with her now ex, I got really close with her in a personal sense, never thought of her as someone I would date as I was also seeing someone steady enough.

Time goes on and things are naturally flirty between us and don't you know I randomly ask her to join me on a work related thing and we end up grabbing dinner, I dropped her home and we ended up kissing (shocking!... it was inevitable)

So basically it was said that we couldn't tell anyone for work reasons (it being frowned upon) and her ex finding out as although it ended well she wanted to spare his feelings, (which I get as I've done this with an ex also) another reason being I had slept with one of her friends who really liked me, (she has a fear her friend wouldn't talk to her anymore if she found out)

So I'm thinking cool, we can date and have fun, kissing, sex etc. I've just ended it with a girl and I was happy to be single and have no string sex.

It was meant to be f*** buddies till eventually she started to fall for me and I for her, it never really was f*** buddies as we always went on dates every week to start, going for dinner then just hanging out going for drives, seeing each other a few times a week then sex was nearly the bonus part.

Got to the point she said she can't go 2 days without seeing me and that she really likes me and is crazy about me, to me that's all fantastic things to hear really as I was feeling similar.

Started seeing her end of December, in this time I've gotten to know the other side of a girl who I would only be having sex with and now naturally I was falling for her big time, so I had a chat with her saying that I can't do whatever it is we are doing anymore as I' falling for her and she didn't want a relationship, she cried saying I underestimate how much she likes me and to not stop seeing each other. so we agree to continue seeing each other only in a sort of secret relationship,

Fast forward to now, in the last week it's like a switch went off in my head that I simply want her, I want her to be my girlfriend, I want to do all the fun things together, take holidays, the usual.

But now funnily enough in the last week or so she's been sort of distant (although we had sex last night)

My question is, do I just keep going down this road or am I in a position to say f*** it, I want this official as I'm crazy about her,

Play it cool or say something?

I feel as though if I say something it probably wouldn't go in my favour, could be fear from my new found infatuation, that gut feeling you get, the uncertainty, I need some reassurance, I want her to say she can't stop thinking about me or something, then I'd probably be fine.

I think about her that much it's starting to effect my day to day stuff, I need this to change!

Thanks :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • So much for short and straight to the point LoL

    No you better hurry your ass up and get her! Tell her you want it to be solid and f*** what everyone else thinks. You both made mistakes but it was those mistakes that led you to each other and you both seem to want each other. There willl be people who are always going to have a problem but if they care about you guys you can apologize deeply to whom you guys hurt and they will accept and move on plus you guys have to be happy. If you wait to late you will lose her. She may be waiting on you. Tell her that you want to make it official with her and that you are happy with her but you don't want to leave open doors for sumone else to come in and take what you have. Situations like yours usually turn out nasty but it worked in both of you guys' favor so make your move before someone else does.

    Ask her and see what she says about how you feel when you tell her what you "WOULDNT" mind happening that way if she says no which I doubt she will you can save yourself from a let down instead of wearing your heart on your sleeve and letting all out.

    Good luck


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