Guys: Do you think he's just trying to settle down because he has a child?

I have been dating the most amazing guy for a little over a month. We spend the vast majority of our time together, and every night together. We truly just seem to be "right" for one another... he REALLY likes me, and I can tell that he thinks that we're going to stay together...

He dated a girl for around 2 years, and she broke up with him at the beginning of February because she found out he was thinking of proposing to her. They haven't spoken since they broke up. I thought our relationship might've started too soon after their breakup, but it wasn't like he was TRYING to meet a girl.. we just happened to meet one another, and I was someone he couldn't pass up because we clicked so well.

He has a child from a friends with benefits situation before he dated this last GF... Although I don't THINK this is the case.. I'm a little curious if you think he may just be looking to settle down with anyone because he wants a wife and a family... what do you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • How does he do with his child on his own? If he's able to do everything his kid needs he doesn't need you for that.

    May be he's just a guy that likes a traditional and happy life as a couple with the prospect of building a family, it seems that way from what you describe. And I think it's refreshing. Don't we hear women complaining all the time about men who only look for sex?

    My question to you is: what do YOU want? Would you be happy to commit to a guy for longterm and think about starting a family? Or not?

    • He's a great dad! He can definitely do it on his own. It is refreshing that he is this way.. I just don't know how to handle it.. it's been a very fast paced relationship.. it does FEEL right.. it's a little unnerving to be with a guy who doesn't play games, is responsible, and is ready to settle down though! Especially because all of my exes have NOT been this way. I'm just scared that only a month of being single wasn't enough for him to get over her. I'm ready to settle down with him though.

    • Sounds OK to me. Keep things going normally and don't overthink it too much. Especially, don't hold things inside for too long and mentally raise doubts about his motivations like that, it's not very constructive. I think since he's a good and responsible dad he is probably a stable and well rounded person. If he treats you well and make sure you have your time to not feel pressured then it's all good. In love there is no absolute rules, just two people trying together with a unique story.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're asking if he's looking for ANYBODY to settle down, as if basically any willing girl will do?

    I don't think so. He's a little young to be so desperate, and it's easier for a man to find a woman who's willing to deal with a child from a previous relationship than it is for a woman to find a man who's willing to do the same.

    Chances are, if he ~acts~ like he really likes you, then he ~does~ really like you.

    • Ya, I suppose you are right! He treats me like he's crazy about me! I'm just nervous there wasn't enough time in between his ex and me for him to actually be over her. He doesn't do/say anything to suggest that he ISN'T over her.. I really think he is... I just dk how that would be possible...

  • if the child was yours, I would understand him rushing to marry you and start a "traditional" family life. this clearly isn't the case, so I don't see why him having a child with someone else would make him want to rush into settling down with you. it sounds like you two are good for each other, so I wouldn't let doubts about his intentions worry you without any substance to them.

    • Good points! I'll try not to let my own insecurities cloud my judgment or feelings for him. I just dk how he could be over his ex completely within a month.. and then jumped straight into dating me. We really ARE perfect for each other though.. so maybe it just makes sense to him?

    • it's possible that your relationship started as a rebound thing, but that he realized that you were much more than that when you started getting to know each other better. if you're worried, mention it to him, but it really doesn't sound like anything is wrong.

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