No one is attracted to me?

I believe that I am pretty, and I am told that quite often by strangers. I am a little overweight, but not really fat, just average. I am smart and I have a lot of friends who really like me. But I am really lonely. It seems like no one is attracted to me and I don't know why. I smile, laugh, am sweet, and can flirt, however I don't get asked out. It is very disheartening and I don't like being alone. I want someone who will fit me, but not be me. What is wrong with me? Any advice on moving past my loneliness and actually finding someone?


Most Helpful Guy

  • well you are from ages 18-24, you still have 3 quarters of the rest of your life to find that perfect someone, you got lots of time


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What Guys Said 4

  • Girls always blame this on looks first, but in most cases, looks aren't the issue.

    As the other folks said, the biggest thing you need to do is find ways to interact with groups of people that include single guys. You smile, laugh, and have fun, but are you doing that where guys can see you, and do you talk to them and invite them into your conversations? That's really the key. Make guys feel included and welcome in your group and they'll start paying attention to you.

    At your age, at a high level, there are two kinds of guys: guys who are confident to approach women on a regular basis and ask them out, and guys who aren't. The first group is small; maybe 5-10% of guys, and at your age, smack in the middle of a man's sexual peak years (16-25), most of those guys are just after sex. That leaves the 90+% of guys who either never ask out girls, or only RARELY ask a girl out; we're talking 1-3 girls PER YEAR, with most of those being rejections.

    So, what you are experiencing is VERY common with girls your age; either they don't get asked out, or they only get asked for sex, not dates or relationships. In order to be asked out, most guys need to KNOW that you like them back; they need clear slgns from you that you are interested in them, or they won't be able to find the courage to ask you and risk the rejection. This is why it's so important to talk/interact and include those guys, and let them SEE you having fun and being cool to be around.

    Then, you're going to have to deal with the guys who just want sex, but that's a topic for another question.

    • i can't see a better answer than this. we do need signals, otherwise we don't want to be rejected, even if we do like you.

    • Thank you for your answer. What signals would clue in a guy that a girl likes him? I feel like I give out signals, but maybe I don't?

    • Very obvious, blatent signals are needed (guys don't respond well, or at all, to sublety). Look him in the eyes and smile. Cross the room to talk to him. Stand close to him or find reasons to touch him. Laugh at his jokes, even when they're dumb. Pay him more attention than anyone else in the room. Include him in conversations and activities whenever you can. Hug him hello and goodbye. That kind of thing.

  • It's going to be okay. Being alone is not the end of the world. The feeling of loneliness will pass.

  • i am sure there are guys that are attracted to you? but you have too put yourself out there. like dating sites, clubs, bars, but I am not fan of pulling in clubs bars.

    if your not getting ask out, maybe it's time you start asking guys out. I think these day's girls really have to let a guy know that girl like's them. remember we don't want to just ask a girl out and get rejected. its hard enough doing it. we want some signals. if theirs's a guy you like out there throw some signals to him, tell him you really like him.

    if I really liked you, I wouldn't just come and ask you out. I need something to go on from you. I could be wrong. some else could disagree with me. I hear a lot of this girls not getting ask out. I think its because guys are getting sick of getting rejected all the time and doing the chasing. that's my perception of it. and there a general among the male population that girls are making hard for us to pull.

    • i could be wrong. like deepthinker says your still young. plenty of time.

    • Show All
    • keep trying you will find a guy that is attracted you. no is that ugly not to find a partner once in their life time. don't give up. there a lot of girls and guys in the same position as you. you just don't see it or hear. I think many people now struggling to find a good partner. so don't be too hard on yourself. because everyone is struggling like you. E.G me and friends

    • i feel the same as you lol. but I am just focusing my mind on other things. if I think about being single for the rest of life. I will end up killing myself. there is more to life than relationships, and chasing the opposite gender all the time.

  • Lose the weight


What Girls Said 1

  • Well, I went... forever without getting asked out. FOREVER. And, I know for sure that I am attractive, it's all a matter of who we broadcast ourselves to, and what we broadcast. Let everyone get to know you, talk to strangers (not the dangerous kind- use your better judgment), and stay confident, even when you mess up, confidence is key. If you are confident, you are sexy! That's all :)

    • i agree with alibaby, she has a good point. its about broadcasting yourself. no ones is going to come knocking on your door, no matter how sexy you are. there is someone for everyone out there. no matter what you look like.

    • Thanks :) also well said!

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