The "Bad boy" needs advice..

don't even know how I got here but I am with the most amazing girl.

My girl: she is in college on a scholarship, naturally beautiful, sweet soft spoken, intellectually stimulating, independent and never asks anything from me or ever looks to me to pay, comes from a good family, classy, kind with a big heart and she is a virgin.

Me: Hard life, grew up in the ghetto, been in rehab, been in meaningless relationships with girls, got my heart broken once before and since have only looked to women for sex really.

I don't know, I feel like it is the classic "bad boy and good girl" situation, except from my perspective. I have gotten to know her for 7 months and at times she makes my heart stop. I never meant to fall in love though. When I met her I though she was "cool" someone I could maybe "hang" with for a little. She however, is the most genuine person I have ever met, especially as a guy who has seen a lot of females as "dogs" she has changed my mind about women. I have nothing to offer her though and sometimes I question truly why a girl like her would want a guy like me. When I first met her I told her that I wanted to be something to her but that I liked her and that we should take it slow. Now however I now our life styles will never fit, and I can't date her, it would only end up bad for me and her. I want to keep her as a friend though. I have told her this but she is getting the wrong idea. She thinks that I am not interested in her anymore, the funny thing is that she even questioned herself and asked what made her not "good enough?" It is killing me inside! I need some advice, with all this lack of information she is getting (mostly because I don't even understand it myself, and even when I do explain it she just thinks I am "being nice" by saying "it isn't you it is me" this time it is true though) she is hurt. If I stay with her, she will be hurt, if I just walk away all together she will be hurt. I already have accepted I will be hurt, I just don't want to hurt her, what should I do, what should I say?

Btw: This I don't have an account, it is my sister's, that's why it is pink lol.


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  • but why does she have to get hurt? can't you be a good boyfriend to her? she clearly sees something in you, just as you see it in her. just because you've been through a lot doesn't mean being a 'bad boy' is encoded into your DNA and that things can't be different in the future. if you truly care about her, think that's she's the one for you, then make it work. I make her sound so amazing. why would you let her go?


  • Ok this sounds like my situation exactly. All the things you say about you, apply to my man. Growing up hard and everything. (except he's never been in rehab. Everything else, even down to the it's not you it's me convo (and of course I think it must me. He tells me I'm amazing, and I question then, how can amazing not be good enough for you). I will tell you what I tell my guy. You are a good man. You are a strong independent hard working man. You have a good heart, you are loyal to your friends and family and I would be proud to be your girlfriend. Chances are your girl thinks most of these things about you. If she loves you she will want to be with you no matter what. I would do almost anything to make my man realize how good we would be for each other. He thinks he does not deserve me. I think he is afraid being with me will change his life, and he's just not ready for that big of a change so he puts distance between us emotionally.

    Bottom line no matter what side of town you came from, no matter what you may have done in the past YOU DESERVE to be happy here and now! Live in the moment, make yourself happy and let the rest of the world sort out their own sh*t. If she makes you happy, why deny it, if you love her why hold her at arms length, if she's as good as you say, why even think of letting her go...Even for a second. Life is short, make the most of the time you have, by giving it ALL you have. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but don't be afraid to try. Fear is temporary regret can haunt you forever!

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