Ladies: when seeing 2 (or more) people at a time - how do you pick which one to have a relationship with?

You like both guys, and have stated you want to be single (recent bad break-up), and both guys know what's going on. How do you eventually choose one guy over the other? What key factors/attributes, effect your decision? And how long does it usually take before you make your decision?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, I start to think about who I have a deeper connection with.

    Who am I more compatible with?

    Looks are always are plus but aren't the main thing in a successful relationship.

    I start to look at personality traits.

    I also ask myself questions like,

    -Is this person ambitious?

    -How often will this person spend time with me?

    -How far does this person live?

    -Will my family like this person?

    -Do I see any negative qualities so far? What are they? Can they be dealt with?

    -Is this person the faithful type?

    -Do me and this person have a lot incommon?

  • The one I have more chemistry with, that I am more drawn to. It won't be because of something logical like how much money he makes or whether I think he would make a good husband or something. Usually it is pretty clear if you have chemistry with a guy or not so the only thing that drags out a decision like this is if you are being pressured to like the other guy more for some reason. That happens if the guy you likes is either not well liked by friends and family or the girl thinks people will feel she made a bad choice. That; however, won't get her to go with the other guy, it will just prolong the decision making.

    • The girl I am seeing said she saw herself as my girlfriend (shes been a friend for years), and wanted to meet my family and me meet hers. I met her siblings and she met mine (no formal meeting with parents though) but we all got along great and they all loved the idea of us. but she wanted to meet parents at some point. Said in the beginning it was a whatever happens, happens deal. She's seeing someone else now too. He's a local, I'm a half hour away in the city. I asked her to commit, she felt like she

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    • This girl is just not that in to you. Plain and simple. The fact her boyfriend of 2 years "crushed" her only explains that she is in need of attention and stringing you along for that. She is vulnerable and is stringing you along until what she does want comes along. Now, I am not saying she is purposely doing this. She probably is not in touch with what she is doing beyond some sort of gut instinct that she cannot commit to you.

    • So, I would stop seeing her. If you have to wait to stop seeing her until she really hurts your feelings, hey that is pretty normal for most of us, but honestly you are just prolonging the pain.

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