Girls, how would you feel if a guy sent you this?

So I posted a similar question yesterday but I've since revised it a bit and so has my situation so I've decided to make a new one.

I have a female friend whom I've known for about a year and have recently started getting feelings for. The feelings seem somewhat mutual, but I'm not 100% sure. I flirt with her and she seems to flirt back, but I want to take things to the next level and have decided to sort of take her on a date. I was going to send her a text tonight that said:

"Hey what are you doing tomorrow night"

"I was thinking about going to [restaurant] tomorrow night before [bar name], and would prefer to go with a hot date ;)"

The restaurant is a restaurant that I know we both really like and always talk about, and the bar is a bar we always go to Wednesday nights with our friends.

So what do you think of that approach? What would be going through your head if a guy friend sent that to you? Should I change the text message in anyway?

The idea here is to ease into things since she is a friend who I also don't know if she is 100% interested. So I don't want to make things awkward if she doesn't share my feelings, hence I'm trying to lightly invite her on a date and not confess my love to her, so hopefully she'll take the hint by either her acceptance or rejection of the date, I'll get a clear picture of where I stand as well as not make her feel uncomfortable about accepting or rejecting me.
Sounds like I should be a bit more specific in implying that she's the "hot date". Maybe just reword it like "and wanted to know if you would be my hot date".


Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand why you don't wanna confess you like her... It's natural to have afraid that your friendships sinks all the way down and that way you push her away when all you want is the right opposite... I've been there before with a boy... I liked him and did nothing and neither was he, so we gave up on each other even before we tried. Around a year later, the same thing happened with a different boy. I didn't wanted to mess it up again this time so I took the guts to tell him.. but he didn't like me back. However, both girls and guys (when like the other person as friends) try not to make things weird... And the easiest way I've found is to act like if your friendship is more important than anything... then you can even say that you've learnt to love her as a sister - girls usually understand (later) that that is the kind of guys they want - the ones who don't act weird and go away after being rejected or have rejected the girl.

    Now, there's also the huge chance that she likes you back but has afraid that you don't like her and that way you eventually ruined your friendship... What I mean is that she might think just the exact same thing as you do.

    My advice is:

    1. don't play all bossy around her, like you're the best and you can do all the chicks in town, just to make her jealous (that way she'll think you're interested in someone else)

    2. touch her hair and give her lots of hugs - that shows you care

    3. let her know you can get a little (this is important - a LITTLE - you don't wanna be a controll freak) jealous of the guys who hint on her.

    4. tell her she's different from the other girls you know, occasionally make a compliment on her smile, her eyes, or even some outfit that you think that suits her well - ATTENTION: make a compliment ONLY when you mean it, otherwise she won't believe you if you're always saying those things.

    5. make her laugh, make her feel safe and always be there for her... if she didn't like you before, now she will c;

    If there's anything you'd also like to know or you if you didn't understand what I meant when I said some things, please be free to ask, and GOOD LUCK! c:

    • 1. Yeah I don't do that. 2. Yeah all of my friends are pretty open about hugging and touching each other so we do that already 3. Yeah I purposely try not to show jealousy since she had really controlling and jealous boyfriend in the past. 4. I compliment her all the time and on a few occasions have told her I she she is beautiful. Especially when she's feeling down. 5. That's part of the reason I like her. We laugh together very easily and our humor clicks.

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    • I think lovers are best friends who really like each other and that's the point of the commitment... Seriously, don't be afraid, I know it's a little bit of a cliche, but that's just the way things are... and as someone once told me "Everything will be alright in the end... If it's not alright, then it's not the end" (: Hope I've helped you somehow, I'm crossing fingers for you c:

    • So far things are looking good. She agreed to the date and when she couldn't go cus of work on the day I picked, she seemed very eager to find another day we could go. Overall she seemed exited. We'll see what happens.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • If I got that text I would assume I was the hot date, but I would not assume you wanted to date me. I'd assume you wanted to go out for a friendly time and that the hot date part was just a joke.

    • How might I change the text, so that its not super forward but still makes my intentions clear? Or what could I say at dinner instead to make it more clear?

    • You could just tell her you'd be interested in getting to know her one-on-one and that you're interested in her. Just tell her something like "I'd really like to go to dinner with you." But in better words. I asked a guy out by haiku once, that was fun.

  • If I got a text like that from a guy friend I'd take it as if he was being funny and asking me out for dinner as friends. She won't know your serious about her till you straight out say it.

    • Well I plan to do that during dinner.

    • Perfect. So whatcha still questioning your approach for? All you have to do is get her to the restaurant and then ease into it. Maybe try testing the water by saying something like do you ever think about us dating for real or something along those lines. Like there's no pressure and your cool with it either way. Some girls tend to get weird after finding out one of their friends like them like that if they don't like the guy back.

  • If I got that text I would assume that the hot date wasn't me, and if I was interested I would feel let down. You should ask her to her face. And make sure when you're saying "it's a date", that she can't help it but believe you.

  • I'd think you're inviting me out. Sounds like a good approach to me. Don't think so.

    • by inviting you out, would you think I had other motives beyond a friendly dinner? As in, its a date and I'm interested in you? And "don't think so" what?

    • Nope, no other motives. I'd think of it as a date and that you're interested.

      I don't think you need to change your approach.

  • Yeah, hot date doesn't sound very appealing unless you know her really well and she obviously likes your sense of humor. I think if you're going to ask her out, you need to be more respectful than that. Gl

    • Yeah I know here pretty well. She is pretty close friend and probably my closest female friend. Like I said, we flirt, tease, and joke around with each other a lot.

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    • Well a lot of friendships actually. We all share a very close nit group of friends which is why this is such a slippery situation. I see this girl as well as our mutual friends almost every day so if things blow up, its going to be a very awkward situation.

    • Why don't you say, " I am going to this resteraunt tomorrow and I would love to go with you."

  • i'd call her instead of texting. It just means more


What Guys Said 1

  • What if she replies something like "Oh, did you finally meet someone ? You have to introduce her to me!" ?

    Why not just inviting her to the restaurant by text, and giving her the pub as meeting place ?

    • That's what I'm doing. The text is an invite to the restaurant. Then after dinner we would meet up with our friends at the bar.

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    • Yes, when you say hot date it's not clear that it's actually her

    • How about saying "I was thinking to go to [restaurant] just the two of us :) What do you think?" Drop the pub stuff so she knows it's not about meeting up with friends.