I need some advice please

Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend is so needy! I love him to death but I'm his lover not his mother. I don't mind helping him as a girlfriend but sometimes it just feels like he always needs or wants something. I'm in a better situation than he is so I often feel bad and want to help him but I often wonder if he was in my situation and vice versa, would he be so helpful and do the same? If I stopped doing less for him or made him understand not to ask me for things so much, would that make him less needy? I feel like there is a deeper issue..I just don't want to be f*cked over..I want to know he would do the same for me, and that I'm appreciated. Thanks for your answers.


Most Helpful Girl

  • When you love someone to death and they love you back the same, there is nothing they wouldn't do for you. Why can't you feel confident of that? There will be in a time in your life, where you will need him as much as he needs you right now. And you will want him to be there for you 100 percent.

    You can't go into a relationship trying to change someone's personality. If that is who he is, then you have to accept it has a part of him. If you want him to rely less on you, tell him that you'll be there for him but he needs to learn how to stand on his own two feet (and learn to deal with situations by himself.)

    • Thank you for answering. I don't know why I can't feel confident of that and that fact that I don't bothers me. I feel like I don't trust him and I think he can see that. Not in a "oh no he's going to go out and cheat on me way" but just in a way that I don't think he'll be there for me the way I need him to be? I can't really explain it. I know I have a hard time letting people past my wall. I'll suggest saying the last sentence to him and just try to work on me. Thank you so much Stacyzee.

    • N/p glad I could help. Relationships are a learning experience. You've most likely been hurt in the past which is why you have a hard time trusting people. Just know that you are worth more than the things that people have done to you, and you are deserving of the best. With time that wall will break down and he will see all of you, and you will begin to trust him.

    • Also, urge your boyfriend to get a job. The energy he spends asking you to get him things, is the same enegry he can put into filing out job applications online and setting up interviews for himself. He is in a difficult situation right now and has to work to get himself out of it. Jobs don't come to you, you have to look for them. <3 Gl.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Explain what kinds of things you feel like he's too needy about. It'll help me understand and figure out what you could do to help change it.

    • Well right now he isn't working and today for instance he was like what are you doing? I said running errands and he asked if I could bring him food. When he had a job he would ask if I could take him to work which sometimes I didn't mind but other times I did. When I brought him his food today, he was like "man its hot, I need some cargo shorts. Babe can you get me some cargo shorts?" Just things like always wanting/needing things. I know the obvious answer is to just not say yes but I want him to

    • stop always asking me! Especially when things aren't equal, like him getting me things.

What Girls Said 0

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