Don't know why I just can't seem to get a girlfriend?

I try to be a gentleman when it comes to girls. One thing I have a hard time doing is approaching and just flirting with a girl out of nowhere. There are a few times where I will talk to a girl even though for the most part I say the samething. For some reason I just can't figure out something cool and clever to say. Went on a few dates, but they did not go anywhere and those girls just stuck me in the friendzone, ask this girl for her number and she just placed me in the friendzone on the spot. I just can't figure out what is messing me up. On dates I just talk and try to get to know them (even that doesn't really go to well, because I never know what to say to get to know them). I have a hard time knowing when to escalate things such as moving in for a kiss or maybe putting my hand on her leg, on her shoulder, hold her hand, or even really just put my arm around her. For some reason I always get nervous and things cross my mind like maybe she will think that I am freak, or call rape and I just get nervous and clam up. I don't even try, so I don't even know what the hell to do in either situation. Then I have thought about if I do get the chance (how will I know what to do, will I be good enough in the bed and big enough for her so to speak). Need some help.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't try to think of clever things--just say what's on your mind. Tell her that she looks hot, touch her playfully, tickle her, make her laugh, look in her eyes when you talk to her. Stop being so "gentlemanly" and just go for playful & fun-- gentleman probably comes off as stiff/boring. Don't openly ask a girl for her number, just have a conversation with her & then leave it at a high point, and tell them you need their number to continue the conversation. On dates, just note things about the people around you like interpret their behavior in strange ways--like oh that guy over there is sitting funny, he must be having an affair, but be relaxed about it.

    It sounds like your biggest issue is that you need to RELAXXXXXXXXX and just focus on the present moment--not if you're gonna mess up (in the future) or how you have messed up (past). Don't be afraid to laugh & have fun.

  • Approaching girls becomes easier once you overcome your fear of rejection. So you need to do that first. Rejection isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you necessarily but rather the fact that you and the girl are not compatible. You have to accept that not every girl is going to like you in that way so of course there will be some that will turn you down.

    As for moving in for a kiss or putting your hand on her leg. I don't suggest doing that if you feel like the girl is stand-offish. If she is physically distant from you she probably doesn't want you touching her. You have to make sure the girl is okay with you so more innocent touches like on the hand/arm/shoulder/back should be used to gauge how comfortable she is with you touching her. Also if she is awkward hugging you she probably won't want you trying to kiss her.

    Don't worry about being good enough in bed and stuff like that. Worry about that when you're actually at that point.

    Don't be all perverted and eager to get inside a girl's pants. You should be trying to get to know her because you like her and are interested in her as a person, not just acting interested so you can get in them jeans. You shouldn't be considering the idea of sex with a girl you barely know. Any decent girl will be able to pick up your eagerness for sex and view you as a creep.

    Those are just a few things from the top of my head. Just take things one step at a time. Don't get too ahead of yourself man.

    • do you ever ask guys out and get rejected just wondering?

    • Yes I have and I've also been rejected in ways not related to relationships. Rejection is a part of life.

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