How to deal with having feelings for 2 different people ?

I really don't know what to do, here's the situation I have a friend here and I really like her and care about her and on the other end I have another friend whom I've known since 2009 the she's a long distance friend and at one point had feelings for her.

My friend who I like we've gone out and she knows how I feel about her, and last week I hung out with her had lunch together with her, after that it felt like I was chasing something that's not there and from there I email my long distance friend me and her also have been talking a lot she knows about this person, I told her what happened and what's going on, at one point I asked her if she wanted to give me and her a chance. Her response was " really after you told me all that ? " and I told her I was sorry and right now I don't think I'm stable nd she said it's OK she's not mad just surprised and I told her that yeh I care about her too. Back in 2009 the long distance one worked for a few months then she said what if when I see you it's different and I don't feel the same way, so I told her hey don't wanna get in the way so I let her go, we still remained friends and we talk up to this day. The day she got in a relationship it hurt so much as in when I cried I didn't make a noise and only tears just kept falling but I was glad she had someone, and we still talked going into the holidays she asked me for an advice because she was torn between 2 people also her boyfriend at that time and a friend who she's known for a long time, she told me also during that time her and her boyfriend have lost the fire and they've become distant and she's don't feel anything about him any more, so I told her just go with your January they had broken up and she was with this now fast forward to a month ago they had broken up and it was pretty bad, and she told me all this..right around that time my friend who is here we've been talking since summer and around that time I started having feelings for we are now I don't know what to do..don't wanna hurt anyone, what should I do.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I use to have a really good guy friend. I really cared about this guy alot. I think I even loved him, but there was distance so it was complictad and I was always scared to tell him how I felt. Not sure how he felt, but I think he may have once liked me too because we use to be pretty close. We've even talked about meeting & being with each other. Even so, we would still meet other people in our area. We always stayed good friends after. Than he met somone he was serious with and him and I slowly stopped talking. It hurt me pretty bad & I really missed him. However, if I were you I would choose the girl that's in person, because she's there with you now. She's there already & you know that your already having feelings for her.There's more of a chance.There's almost no chance with this girl that you like long distance. You can't be sure that it would be the same after you two met. However.. if you cared about her enough to where it made you cry ..than you never know. There could be no difference at all & it could work. Distance sucks lol but it does have meaning & somtimes that's really worth it. Just know though that if you do choose distance, you risk losing what's there now if things don't work out. Trust your gut.

    • honestly this is a difficult position to be, but thanks for the advice going to listen to my gut feelings

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