Do the "rules" change after you've been dating for a while?

Most guys and girls I know would agree that at the beginning of dating, between the time you meet and your first few dates, the guy should do most of the pursuing, because if he doesn't he's not interested. And that if you stop hearing from him you should assume he's not into you.

However, after you've been dating for weeks and he talks to you every day, do you think the tables turn a bit, where if he usually contacts you every single day but you never contact him first, he will think you are the disinterested one?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, from personal experience, it feels like a sign they are becoming less interested in you (me) if I always spark the conversation, So I tend to be quiet for a day or two and if I don't hear anything, I know they lost interest, but if I get a response, I know they are interested (and depending on the time it takes to notice me doing my silent strike and who the person it (some girls have busy lives and may not be able to contact me until the second day or something) hope this helps! (it's very possible he was just busy yesterday!)

    • he was at a meeting. he usually texts every day, calls too. I'm just confused, because many people say "if the guy likes you he will always pursue you to the end" but then others say "if a girl never reciprocates she looks disinterested" but then others say "if she texts him it makes her less appealing" I just never know!

    • Show All
    • well we are dating for weeks now, but I'm not his girlfriend. I would just say hey how's your weekend going? and not push it too much.

    • a good way to see if he is still interested, is the length of his response, if he responds "fine" then he might be busy or just lost interest, but if he gives you details or asks you questions in return like "not bad, you?" you know he wants to talk to you

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Fo' sure. You got it stop on sistah.

  • ya because honestly if the guy does all the work then the relationship is bound to fail, in a relationship you both should have to work at it not just the guy doing all the contacting because in a way that is kinda controling and neglectful.

    • so if we usually talk every day and he has mentioned that he barely ever hears from me, and I know he's very busy this weekend, I should drop in and say hi? because we haven't spoken yesterday, first time we haven't, but I don't want him to get annoyed at me.

    • personally to me the annoying part would be if she felt I had to do all of the talking but that is just me, if you wanna talk to him then talk to him but don't be afraid of being annoying because maybe deep down inside he wants you to be more vocal and actually be willing to take a greater part in the relationship :-)

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!