Am I just a hook up?

So I've been dating a guy for three months now. We met at a movie premiere, and didn't hook up right away, waited a few weeks. He broke up with a serious girlfriend of seven years just a year ago, and the girl still contacts him, asking how he's doing. He says she cheated on him and broke his heart, that he never wants to get back with her but isn't over what happened that he is still hurt and is deathly afraid to have a serious girlfriend again. We do things together, go to baseball games, go to dinner, play miniature golf, stay at each others place, but he says he won't ask me to be his girlfriend, and won't for a long time, that he's not ready. A big part of this too is that he is a new film director and will be leaving in a couple weeks to travel across the US for a couple months to shoot a documentary and says that's another reason he doesn't want a girlfriend. He says I'm only the second girl he's ever slept with, that he feels we are more than friends, that he cares for me, and doesn't want to stop talking. But part of me feels li should protect myself, keep my distance from him though its hard to keep from falling. Am I just a hook up?


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  • You are more than a hook up because there are feelings involved. He cares for you, but isn't ready to start anything mainly because he is not over his past.

    You are more like a girl he is dating or a friend's with benefits. I don't think he is trying to hurt you, he is just trying to establish a relationship with someone that is convenient to fill his physical desires (not necessarily sex, but someone to spend time with) without getting too emotionally involved.

    • I agree with you but ouch...just someone to meet his physical needs? So it could be anyone convenient then...sounds almost like a hook up to me, or something with no future!

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    • Good advice! Thank you! Do you think if I let things go this way, which is smooth most of the time, that it could turn in to something in the future? How likely is that?

    • Glad I could help. It can possibly turn into something but you would have to have patient (because that can be a very long while from now). In this case it may take anywhere from several months to years. He isn't over his ex, who knows how long that will take? Maybe him developing something special with you, will allow him to get over her faster. You will have to just have to take things day by day.

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