My friends say I'm wrong to feel this way?!?!

I'm sorry in advance, for the length of this...if you can make it through this, feel free to answer :) It'd be greatly appreciated.

I can honestly say that I only see my boyfriend. We've been together for five years. As far as other guys are concerned, I only can see my boyfriend. Sure, I notice that other guys are, otherwise I'd be running into them all over the place lol...but I never notice them physically. My friends think this is so wrong.

Only one of my female friends is actually in a relationship right now. She's been with her boyfriend for a year, but she still notices other guys and tells me they're hot. I kind of feel bad for her boyfriend, because he's totally committed to her, and she's off checking out other guys and flirting.

In my group of friends, there're six guys and three girls. Myself and my two girl friends hang out apart from the guys sometimes and their activity of choice lately has been "boy watching." Personally, I find the activity juvenile, but I go along anyway. But I just sit there and listen to them oo and ahh over these random guys. I shall I word this...I can see what they find attractive in the guy they're looking at, but I personally don't find him as attractive as my boyfriend. Like, if the guy is in good shape, I can see that. Or if he has a nice smile. I just don't see him like they do, I guess.

They think that's so weird. Every time I hang out with my friends, my female friends ask me, "Did you break up yet?" or "Are you sick of him yet?" or "Why don't you break up with him?! You've been with him long enough!" or "It's not NORMAL to be with one guy this long, move on!"

My boyfriend is not in my group of friends, so they don't ever talk to him. It's not like he's telling them to hint at me to break up with him. So that option is ruled out. I feel like they're trying to sabotage my relationship, but can't figure out why.

Am I wrong to feel like they're being idiots? I thought that monogamy and being in a committed relationship was the end goal...I'm young, 18, and other than my current boyfriend, I've never been with anyone else really, so maybe I have it all wrong. I thought that as long as both parties in the relationship are happy, then the relationship is good. Am I weird for not thinking other guys are as attractive as my boyfriend, not flirting with other guys, and for staying with him as long as I have?

I just want some sort of validation --yes, they're right and I should be doing what they're doing, or no, I'm fine.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a sad problem with a lot of girls; if one of their friends is HAPPY and they aren't, instead of trying to be more like their friend, they instead try to bring their friend down to their level. It's jealousy and negativity all together, and they try to manipulate you into believing that YOU are the one with the problem, when clearly it is THEY who have the problem.

    I've seen this many times, and sadly I've seen girls break up with great guys that the girl really liked because her friends convince her that she'd be happier alone or with another guy. He gets crushed, and by the time the girl figures out what a huge mistake she made, it's too late, because he will never trust her again.

    • Understandable. I see your point.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like they crave attention. It's normal to see other people as attractive though, but it's not good to be flirting around with other guys even if you have no intentions of doing anything beyond that. What matters is that you're happy. People are going to hate on you because you're young and they're going to tell you that you shouldn't be so committed so young and get out there and "have fun" and explore other people.


What Girls Said 2

  • It honestly sounds like your friends are jealous that you have found something they HAVENT. And by continuing to discourage you from having such a relationship,they consciously or subconsciously want you to end up in the same boat as them.Misery LOVES company...always remember that. Somtimes people can't stand to see another person happy or to have something they dont. If you don't look at other guys,fine.Thats your choice.I don't see why someone would need to flirt with other guys even though they are in a long term relationship anyway. Your friends sound jealous and immature. Don't listen to them,do what's right for YOU.

  • I think they are immature and just like attention. I think you show maturity in being committed to your boyfriend. they probably want what you have with your boyfriend which makes them jealous of you.