I'm not ready to settle down, I want to play the field and the two boys I was seeing both know about each other. One of them wasn't cool with it, the other makes fun of the time we DO have together. The crux of my problem is this, I'm asserting my freedom, but when I fathom THEM being with someone else, my ego starts roaring... I'm trying to make my emotions understand my logic, and stop being double-standard about it. What's good for me, is good for them. Question is, how do I accept that if I'm going to play the field, they are too? I want to be okay with them being with other women. I really do. I am hoping that maybe someone on here would have some words of wisdom to put my ego away... thanks in advance.
Most Helpful Guy
You sound conflicted with your setup. You're not playing the field, you've got two boyfriends. If you start dating other guys you may not have issues any more. You'll actually be walking the walk instead of just talking the talk. No matter what we tell ourselves or others, when we lay down at night and look in the mirror in the morning, we know what we're doing.
You've also decided to challenge traditional roles in a rather repressed society, and you've got all that guilt to deal with. If you really just want to date around, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you're honest with them, and yourself. Perhaps when you get to the point of really feeling something towards the men you date, you should take that as the signal to stop seeing them. Then no one can say you're leading them on, and you won't be jealous, either.
A lot of people are choosing to wait to settle down until they're about thirty or so. If you want to get there with no regrets, you've got to change your approach, and stop falling for these guys. Cut them loose. For centuries young men have gone by the mantra "Love them and leave them." There's cruder versions but you get my drift. We don't get involved until we're ready to wake up next to the same woman every day.
Keep them as distant as Facebook friends, consider them numbers in your little black book, to occasionally fill in an empty night on your calendar. And break up with your two boyfriends.1