Am I in the wrong? Or is my boyfriend too jealous?

When my boyfriend and I started dating (2 years ago), I broke up with his best friend for him. Now we have moved in together pretty far from all of my friends. Now, I work 2 jobs, go to school, and only have him to talk to and hang out with. In my opinion, that isn't healthy.

At least once a week, he has his friends come out for the night. The other night I met up with this guy that I've been talking to for a couple of days. He works for the same company, just a different location that me. We hung out for about 3 hours and grabbed some food together. He gave me a hug when we were leaving.

My boyfriend says that it feels like I am sneaking around because I didn't answer my phone when I was with him.. but I hadn't heard my phone go off.

My boyfriend feels like this is the same situation of how we started dating. I admitted that it is similar, but I was up front with this new kid.. I am not available at all.

My boyfriend is jealous that I am talking to a new guy. I told him that he has no reason to be. I'm not wrong for trying to make a new friend in my area, am I. I need someone to help keep me sane.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you kinda brought this upon yourself to start with. You broke up with his BEST FRIEND for HIM. Of course there will always be some trust issues from his perspective considering you did flip flop between his best friend and him. IMO, this shouldn't have happened in the first place. But anways...

    But if you two really do love each other and that breakup with his best friend wasn't for nothing, then he should understand your situation and let you make new friends, guys or girls. Although I'm guessing he would rather you make friends with girls or gay guys. He should trust you but I guess I can understand the apprehension. You can't blame the issue on you or him. There's trust and jealousy issues on both sides.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • The hug kind of gives this away. You don't hug female co-workers unless you want them. Your boyfriend has every right to be worried about this, especially considering your past behavior.

    Look at it this way. Every hug between co-workers is a lawsuit risk, or a loss of employment risk. You don't risk that unless you want something more from the person you're hugging.

    And sorry for being so blunt about your past catching up to you. The more you hang out with this new guy the more your boyfriend will be worried, and nobody should blame him for being worried about this.

  • I donr think its wrong just be careful on your boyfriends patience regarding guy friends. You need to maintain communication with your boyfriend while you are hanging out with this othee guy. If your boyfriend shows the same behavior of not communicating when he's around other girls then ignore what I said

    • He says that he doesn't hang out with girls so that he isn't in a bad situation. But I don't feel that I have to restrict my friends because of their gender. I mean, there are only 2 genders out there..

  • Random opposite gender coworkers don't hug.

    This guy wants you.

    Maybe find some female friends?

    • Not true. Guy coworkers hug me all the time; married ones, gay ones, single ones, old ones, young ones...and it's not like they'd ever be after me.

    • I stand by what I said. For both of you.

    • I will note that wanting someone and planning to ever act on it can be different.

What Girls Said 3

  • If your boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable with you hanging out with some random dude you just met, I completely understand. Especially due to the nature of how your relationship started, it's going to make him uneasy. Of course it's OK to have guy friends, but if your SO isn't comfortable with it, then that is a boundary of his and you need to respect it. If you can't respect his boundaries (and him yours) then you probably shouldn't be dating. As for the new guy, he isn't going to stop hangin with you just because you say "I'm not available". He's going to hang around, be the shoulder to cry on when you're upset with your BF, and wait for it all to fall apart so he can sneak in and scoop you up. Sounds awfully shady doesn't it? Decent guys aren't going to form a new friendship with a girl if she's engaged/taken because they have respect for the relationship and the other guy. Most guys are OK with the friends they already have, and if he says he's looking for a new girl to be his 'friend' he's probably full of sh*te. Be wary of these men. I had a guy friend for a few years and he doesn't like my fiance. He tried to get me to kiss him one night when we were hanging out. So, showing obvious disrespect for me, my relationship, and my man. I'm still nice when I see him, but I don't hang out with him anymore. My man knows I'm faithful, but I don't want him to have to worry about jerks like that at all so I stay away. How would you feel if he was spending time with some chick he just met for hours at a time and didn't answer when you called? Bet you wouldn't like it one bit. Try to see it from his side. Find a fun group of girls to hang with, that's much better for you, and your relationship, and your bf's sanity.

  • Yeah I kinda agree with your guy on this. If he doesn't want yopu hanging out with your co-worker at work then don't if you still want him, because considering how you broke up with his best friend to be with him, he's going to feel insecured and malso think you can do it gagain for somone new. I get you did it for him and all, breaking up with "his friend". You know the way they thimk, that taught will always be there even if there's nothing between the co=worker an you. So if you still want him and keep the relationship, don't hug your5 male co-workers and maybe for the future, don't ever date two friends.

  • Think about it...

    If he was hanging out with a "co worker" that was female, I don't think you'd like it either.

    I'm just saying.