Would you date someone that will one day need a liver transplant?

One day, anywhere from a year from now, to like, 20-25 years from now I WILL need a transplant, and it's making me feel very... guilty for wanting to date and have a girlfriend.

I don't want to be judged based on this fact, so I feel like I can't tell someone early on what's wrong with me... but I feel it would be wrong to date someone and not tell them for a month or two about my condition.

So... Would you date someone that would need a liver transplant, and when would be the best time for your date to tell you?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't bring this out in those first few dates. There is no point. Coming out with our heavy life stuff on initial dates is awkward. It will almost always make both of you uncomfortable because first dates should be light hearted and fun.

    If you date for a while and there is chemistry, well the right date will come where you will recognize it is time to bring this up. It's kind of the same thing as building a friendship. Except when we are children, typically friendships start by just hanging out and having fun. At some point they turn the corner and one of you starts sharing deeper thoughts or truths about your life. You don't just tell everyone about your fears, your problems. You tell people that you are connecting with.

    So, yes, I would say that you date, you see if the girl and you start to connect emotionally and then, before you ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend (and certainly before you become intimate) you tell her you have something important you need her to know. Don't apologize for anything. Just tell her your reality and see how it goes. I would wait a few days for it to sink in fully, but a girl who is really connecting to you will want to be there for you.

    I had a boyfriend who had to wear support hose because he had varicose veins and had surgery for them. He certainly did not tell me about that right away. He waited until we were going to be intimate and then he told me. By then, I was emotionally attached and it was no big thing. If he had revealed a life threatening ailment, I still would have stayed. Once you are attached, you don't just split on someone because of this.


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What Girls Said 3

  • absolutely! just because you need a new liver does not make you any less of a person. best time would be like first date when you are just telling her about yourself. most people know what they can handle, so its best to say sooner than later. don't worry about it hun, there are tons of girls who would love be there for you when you do need the transplant. a lot of girls are like myself, want to make someone in pain feel better :)

  • You should not feel guilty, I would still date you its not that big of a deal for me. Well after the first few dates make sure you tell the girl just so she knows. Ide give you part of my liver. Do they do that?

    • Living donor transplants do exist. less than 1% chance of death for the donor, it adds about 6% survival rate for the receiver. It takes 4-6 weeks for the donors liver to regrow. and has full recovery about, a month after that I think. But it can also make the donor have issues with some foods and their immune systems might not be as strong afterwards.

    • Ya then ide give them part of my liver.

  • I would because I know one day in like 20-25 years I'm probably gonna need a hip replacement and I don't wanna be judged on that so I totally get where you are coming from.

    I don't think it really matters when you tell her. If you wanna tell her on the first date you could. That way it would ease your guilt and she could make her decision.(And by the way if a girl turns you down soley for that reason, she isn't worth it)


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