Keeping your options open: What's your experience?

Have you dated a girl/guy and decided to keep your options open to find out that the 1st girl/guy you passed on was the best fit for you?

Did you go back to them/ did they take you back? Have you been the one rejected then asked to be taken back (the opposite end of the situation)?

I kept my options opened once and found out the guy I passed on was the better choice, the other was a flake. To this day, me and the 1st guy still have a weird chemistry thing going (haha).

  • Yes - he/she took me back in the end.
    Vote A
  • Yes- he/she DIDN'T take me back in the end.
    Vote B
  • No - It's never happened to me
    Vote C
  • No - I was on the opposite end, but I took them back.
    Vote D
  • No - I was on the opposite end and I DIDN'T take them back
    Vote E
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

I think you guy are being overly sensitive about the issue. If it wants to be admitted or not, plenty of people have kept their options open (knowingly or otherwise) to other options. I'm not talking about two people that have been dating for a longer period of time, but rather in the "getting to know you stage".

In my experience, the 1st guy was an acquaintance that had a slow progression and the 2nd was a friend with a faster progression.
By the time the 1st guy decided to tell me he had feelings for me, some days later the second guy made it pretty obvious he didn't want to be just friends.

Seeing as two people like me at the same time, I now have open options.


Most Helpful Guy

  • the 1st guy is doing more than I EVER would.

    if you reject lost your chance at a good guy.

    I'm NO GIRL'S silver metal recipient. I know I wouldn't even be friends with that girl (presuming we weren't close friends beforehand) after she rejected me.

    Also, I wouldn't date a girl that said that she "wants to keep he options open".

    Sounds like something a selfish and self-centered person would do.

    Maybe I'm old fashioned...but I date ONE person at a time. Dating multiple people doesn't.seem right to me (but I'm not judging).

    • @ updates

      I know that plenty of people keep their options open, I understand why people do that.

      That's why I ask.

      If she says she is., then most likely she's a dead prospect unless I like her ALOT.

      If she says no (truthfully), then it's all good.

      If she says no (lying)...initially I won't know, but the guilt of her lying to a genuinely good "catch" of a guy like myself will emotionally DESTROY her, and will eventually show. Then her instability will turn me off and I'll eventually "next" her.

    • Hopefully I don't come off as too abrasive to you, QA.

      I'm just really passionate about the way I do things. :)

    • Nah, it's all good.

      I just don't want people to think I'm a man eater or something.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Keeping your options open is a silly concept and rather self-centered if you ask me. It shows you didn't give it your all and are just shopping.

  • I don't date until after I've been friends for awhile tbh. Best way to figure out more about them without getting too serious. After that, well, if they're interested and I am, go for more.

    But while dating, if you're "keeping your options open" imo you're just not someone I'll bother with cause clearly you aren't really into me enough to put it all on the line and take a risk so meh. Not gonna bother.

  • I always wait too long and then the woman I really wanted was gone..usually another man..I am 42 and still single...I wish I would have not kept my options open..the woman of my dreams is getting married in 2 months!

    • How long do you usually wait?

    • Show All
    • Would you say that you're an indecisive person? Need a lot of space?

      What exactly makes you wait so long?

    • I am indecisive and I really knew I wanted her the moment I saw her...It was a workplace issue and I should have told her I wanted her..everyone at work knew she liked me..biggest mistake of my life..I love this woman and can't do anything about it now...she is getting married..I had my chance

  • No problem seeing other people, you're not exclusive.

    • I concur...nothing wrong with that imo.

      Dating that type of person isn't for me.

      This is why it's important to ask about that sort of thing, so there's no misunderstandings. (in a casual way; delivery is important).

    • Word. We wouldn't want another guy being called a jerk now would we.

    • Absolutely no jackass (most of the time).

  • There is no problem dating more than one person at a time. But it's better not to brag about it. Everybody knows that if you are not in a committed relationship then you do as you please. But once you choose then you better know why you chose that person and discarded the other(s). And not back pedal time and again, that's not good.

    • i don't think most guys here are over sensitive of anything. Just different opinions voiced with calm and measure. I date multiple girls at once because I like it that way. That's just me, I know other people like to do differently, and it's important to keep that in mind.

    • What exactly perks your interest in dating many people at once? How many do you usually date?

    • Right now I'm dating two. I dated up to four over a short time. I like it because it's fun. I enjoy going out with girls. Some I know from the get go it's not going to lead to anything serious, while it might for some others but I never lead anybody on. Some lead to casual sex and I enjoy that as well. I think it's just my personality, I'm out going and very sexual so it makes sense to me.

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