I'm conflicted about dating. Sometimes I'm very lonely, other times I hate to be around women, what to do?

Anonymous
I've not dated anyone now for about 15 years. Every relationship I've had, has ended horrible. The last girl I was seeing ditched me on my birthday to sleep with another guy and the girl shortly after that that I went on one date with left me at the restaurant after I passed out due to an illness I contracted that day. I probably shouldn't have gone out feeling like I did but she begged me to.

When I'm alone I do nothing but want a girl around. Someone around to talk to or go do something with. Just to spend my time with when I'm not working.

When I'm with a girl all I see is someone that will leave me with things get hard. A person that isn't interested in how I feel. That at the most critical moment will flake out and leave. Only to bad mouth you to your friends.

I don't even try to meet new girls now. They way the act just makes me upset. I have some female friends but most of them are busy with their boyfriends. They've ditched most of all their old friends.

It makes me angry because like now when I'm alone I'd like to be around a girl like all my friends are doing right now. I'd like someone to sit here and watch tv or go for a walk or ride motorcycles with me.

But I know if I find some girl to be around she's going to do nothing but at the most critical moment I need her walk out. That she'd be weak and inconsiderate. She would cause more problems than she'd fix.
I'm conflicted about dating. Sometimes I'm very lonely, other times I hate to be around women, what to do?
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