Was I stupid or was it the right call?

A long time ago, I met a girl online. We chatted online for a while and it was a lot of fun.

After some time, we went to the movies together and it went pretty well. For some weird reason, something didn't feel right. I assumed it would go away eventually. A few days later, she joined me and my friends (whom she had never met before) when we where going to my place to watch a movie. It was a lot of fun and all my friends liked her. I attempted to hold hands but it got awkward quickly and I stopped. Still, I felt like something wasn't right. Perhaps it was stupid of me, but because of this weird "feeling" I told her that we should stop dating (I felt like a total jerk). She wasn't too happy about it.

A few months later, she contacted me again, out of the blue and I thought, why don't we give it another shot. We went to the movies. The movie we had chosen turned out to be a horror. I am not too big of a horror fan, but my date is absolute scared to death by them. I managed to swap the tickets for some romantic chick-flick comedy. It was a lot of fun. We talked a lot and found out we had much in common. She read the same book as I did (not a book every one reads) and we have the same kind of humor. A friend of mine said that we "were made for each other!". But despite all these positive things, I still felt that damn feeling. Something didn't feel right. It wasn't something I could ignore (at the time). After this, the communications between us slowly stopped and I haven't heard from her since. I made a deal with myself that I should date her again, because it would only hurt her if that feeling returned. It has been like 2 or 3 years that I last saw her and for some reason, I started thinking about her lately. I still don't know why things didn't work out between us. A part of me wants to contact her again and just see how things go from there. But another part of me is like: "you didn't make this deal with yourself for nothing!".

I have never had a girlfriend. She was the closest I got. Am I being desperate for waning to contact her? What do you guys think I should do?

Thanks for reading :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Perhaps. I would like to know if you can put that feeling to words. Was it the way she laughed? Her views on a subject? Her body chemistry didn't appeal to you? Intimidated by her family? If you want real help, I need a concrete picture.

    • It sounds very silly, but I didn't care for the way she talked. Her accent or something was pretty strange. Also, she is a pretty girl but not extremely beautiful. I don't like to say al this, because it makes me sound shallow and like a douchebag. This is simply how I felt at the time. I don;t consider myself to be shallow at all.

      I didn't really meet her parents, but after our first date, her mother came to pick her up. I didn't have the chance to talk te her. She looked at me and smiled.

    • Show All
    • Makes sense. You were charmed by her personality; but felt no real chemistry and no real sense of common ground. What you lacked were the right words to describe what intuition was telling you. And if you need lies to make your points to her; then it's not worth your time or hers.

      By all means, move on. You both need something better than each other.

    • Great advice!


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What Girls Said 1

  • You already found the answer... she was the closest to a girlfriend you've got. Maybe back then you weren't ready for something serious. Now you kind of feel like having something again and of course you think about her.

    A lot can happen in 2,3 years, people change. She might not be like the girl she used to be. (That can be good or not so good in your case) on the other hand I just think it's not fair to her that you contact her or try something with her again. Everybody deserves to be with someone who REALLY wants them.

    I would say leave it at that. Most of the time our guts tell us what's real...something between you was missing for you. So it was right to end it. Try to discover what you really want...and I'm sure you'll find the right one.

    best of luck


What Guys Said 0

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