Why is he still on a dating site???

I actually met this guy on a different dating site but he happened to mention that he was on this other dating site so I anonymously signed up for it (this was initially when we met about 8 months ago , and we both didn't think we'd end up liking each other) and as I know its wrong to snoop around, back then we weren't serious and I was just doing it for the heck of it... but over the past 2 months he has gotten a lot more serious and calls me his girlfriend, says that he cares about me a lot which I believe he does since his behavior has changed a lot (for the better) since we initially met (which was about 8 months ago) ... I still noticed he has been on the site all along but rarely logs on to it and whenever I ask him if he is looking for something else he says no. we are so comfortable with each other at this point that I believe him that he isn't looking for anyone else . I noticed he was inactive on that site for over a month but then noticed he logged on yesterday afternoon, and I was in fact with him the night before until yesterday morning. When I saw this , my emotions jumped to different conclusions and I started to cry about it (also might be part of the fact , its that time of the month - lol) but I really felt confused by this. I trust his words and I can feel he has become a lot closer to me but why is he still on a dating site?

Can any of the guys here give me some perspective, please?

This randomly came up in one of our conversations and he admitted that he was just too lazy to delete it but hardly ever uses it unless like orion said he checked a "random message". But he said he would delete it :)

All that jumping to conclusions, when it was just as simple as 1,2,3 :)
Correction he doesn't use it anymore is what he said, not hardly ever uses it! :)


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What Guys Said 3

  • While it's possible your worst fears are true, keep in mind that often dating sites have forums where people can discuss their relationships and get advice. Or he may have not thought to remove his profile and got a random email from someone and logged in to delete it or tell them his was already taken.

    It's easy to jump to the worst conclusion when you;re afraid you may lose someone. Relax, take a breath, look for clear proof before you assume anything and try to stay positive.

    • I was also thinking that he may of logged on to check on some random message he might of gotten. Thanks for your response, you definitely made me feel a bit calmer about the situation.

  • I have been through this before. I tried to log in again to remember some information about a girlfriend when we were in the early part of our relationship. She called me out on logging on again and I told her the same thing above. I told her that I didn't need to delete my account because it was going to expire in a few weeks. If you want to resolve this, tell me that you were looking at his profile to remember things that first got you interested in him. Then, tell him that you were surprised that he still made his account up. This should give him the idea to take it down. Guys are lazy at cleaning up this kinda stuff. Help him with it.

    • Great advice, I feel like he would think I was snooping on him if I brought this up since he doesn't know I have an account on that dating site. The initial site we met on, his subsciption ended and he said he doesn't use that one anymore when I asked him once. But this other site is a free dating site which he mentioned casually to me when we first started talking and back then I was okay with it, we didn't think we would get serious. Should I still bring it up or I look like I don't trust him

    • Have a friend join that site and message him on why he is on a dating site if he is dating you and that he should delete it. You could check later, but you don't have to talk to him about it.

  • If you trust and believe him, I wouldn't worry about it at all, seriously. He probably just hasn't bothered to delete it (doesn't think to do it). Even if he hasn't, guys don't get a million messages a day like women do. If fact, we're lucky if we get one EVER! I find very few people take online dating seriously. So my guess is, like I said, he just hasn't bothered to delete it (maybe even doesn't know how to? Some sites don't make it easy).


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