I can't stay with a guy who does not want to commit but it is killing me to let go.. will he ever change? help

this guy and I have been talking for 4 months. he warned me he did not want a girlfriend and all that but I continued any ways. I was hoping in time he would grow to really love me. we both do like each other.

in his past he tried to be serious with a girl but he ended up hurt so I think he has been closed off to love ever since. he is basically emotionally unavailable.

he has been great but recently he stopped trying as much. we did not talk for 3 days. when I asked what was up he said he felt I was getting attached and lead on. I lied and said I was not though. basically we are talking but it is not even talking to get any where..it's like we are keeping each other company in the moment and that is the furthest thing I want. I always wanted a serious relationship. I feel like I de valued myself.

the truth is I love the guy. he warned me yes but I thought things could change. I know I need to walk away so that he MIGHT regret it. if I am always there, I feel like he won't. I don't know what to do any more. I am so close to him and his family. I feel like letting go is going to suck. do I walk away silently or do I express myself?

sticking around or not sticking around, either way I don't get what I want. I want someone to love me back. how is it even possible for someone not to get attached over time? he is caring and nice all the time. the fact that he talked to me for months (he usually talks to someone and ends it in 2 weeks time) meant that there could be something there..

ugh. advice? stories? anything?


Most Helpful Girl

  • will he ever change? No. At least he told you & was up front with you about it. Take it for what it is. He's not going to change.

    "he has been great but recently he stopped trying as much"...Kiss of death, when they stop trying, they move on & it's over for them. You can hope all you want, and want for all the hope that you can, but it won't change anything.

    Cut your loses and move on. It will hurt, hurt alot. But do it now & like pulling off a bandaid. Just break it off & stop talking to him & stop seeing him. It will be easier to move on. Don't drag it out. Next time you meet a guy & he says he doesn't want a girlfriend, just say, "see ya!"

    Good luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You have to keep telling yourself you can't change him. People get stuck in bad places because they think the other person will change for them.

    Tell him you know he said he doesn't want anything serious but you like him a lot, and it bothers you to be so close to him. Maybe show him this page. If he still says he doesn't want anything serious you can't get too upset about it because he never gave you an indication otherwise. If he says he feels the same then congrats.


What Girls Said 1

  • ok I think you should tell him that you ar falling for him and that whatever happend in his past won't happen with you and at least give it a try and that youve noticed that he brakes up with a girl in 2 weeks top but that's you won't be that easy to let go because you know him to well...dont de value yourself for a guy ...there a saying I go by ((LOVE IS AMNSESIA IT MAKES A GIRL FORGET THERES1.2BILLION OTHER GUYS))

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