Am I moving too fast if I ask someone to hang out after a couple texts?

i'm trying to make new friends, so I've been sending friend requests on Facebook to people I went to school with a few years ago. Usually they'll accept and I'll send them a message that says hey how you doing? Do you ever go bowling? So that way they will have something to respond back to plus it sets up a possible future meetup. They will respond and say either yes or no but I'd be up for trying that. So then I'll message them back and say cool I'll give you my number and you can text me so we can figure out a good time to go bowling. Then they will text me back and I'll try to set it up from their. Most the time they won't respond back after they text me the first time. I don't understand. Isn't the best way to make friends and get to know someone is to hangout with them? Am I moving too fast? I suppose I could text them a few more times before trying to set something up but that just seems to increase the likelihood of them not texting back.


Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, yeah, a little bit. Your ideas a really good, and this is indeed a great way to make friends. The fact that you're so open is great first step, truly. Unfortunately, not everyone is like that. They need a bit more time. Facebook friends? Good. Texting? Even better. Leave it at that for a while. Talk to them. Ask them how they've been. Have some good conversations. THEN, people will warm up to you. Then, you can say "hey, I'm pretty bored today, if you have nothing going on, we can do something. Maybe bowling? But if you have something else in mind, let me know." That kind of thing. Then, after someone has had good conversations with you, they'll think "yeah, this guys seems really cool while talking, he's worth hanging out with". This goes for friends, and girls.

    I'm speaking from experience on the other side. I've had a few situations where someone that I barely know is like "HEY LET'S GO DO SOMETHING". I'm not a major socialite like most girls so I tend to back off from those offers. BUT, in saying that, if they were fun to text/im, they may be very fun in person, and I'm that much more willing to hang out.

    Like I said, your first few steps are good. You just need to be slightly more patient. :)

    Good luck, bro.

    • i'll try messaging back and forth a few more times before asking to hangout then. Thanks.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think so, I " dated" my now husband for 2 months before we moved in together. It's been 3 years now. So if it feels right, just go for it!

  • I'd for sure hang out and get to know them but you know, bowling is a way to do that. So just go with it. If she isn't freaked out by now... she is OK with it. :)

    • I was mainly just talking about hanging out with guys. I'm not sure if asking a girl to go hangout with you straight off the bat would work well especially if they really don't know you other than being in their class as one point.

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!