Why would she not go for me?

Girls, I need your input in this please. I have a female friend (we have known each other for years but only close for the last 5) and I am starting to fall for her. The problem is I'm so sure she doesn't feel the same with the things she has said.

Now I have been told by many women (friends and random ladies) that I'm a good looking or cute guy and have my previous girlfriends have found me nice looking. I'm no way shallow and personally I don't think I'm anything special and I respect and care for many people. Her last 3 boyfriends this year have been very below average looking (I hate to use the word ugly as no one is ugly unless they have a rotten personality). So what's wrong with me? She loves my company, we see each other often, I look after her, I care for her so much, I have treated her better than any guy she has ever dates. We give each other space so I never suffocate her, basically I have only upset her once (a recent argument but we are back on the mend and I'm taking her out this week). So why wouldn't she go for me? It upsets me and I cannot concentrate on other women (even ones who are showing me interest). I just don't know where I'm going wrong, I'm now starting to doubt myself as a person too.

Last 5 months I meant.
Oh before you girls ask, I have never told her how I feel, I'm too scared too as I'm sure she doesn't feel the same. I think she sees me only as a best mate and I have only used the word friend with her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • well you say you are a good looking nice guy and she loves spending time with you and you treat her nicely, so I think you can see for yourself there is not a reason why she shouldn't like you. Maybe she just hadn't thought of you that way, which doesn't neseseraly mean she doesn't like you. I suggest you go kind of slow and soft with it.. start making compliments to her saying she's sexy and stuff like that, but don't go over the top, do it in a playful nice way and by the ways she reacts you will find out for sure how she she feels for you and still you won't be so upfront about it :)

    • Thank you. I do compliment her, I always tell her she's beautiful. She's not very confident about herself though. I just feel she doesn't feel that way. I might step up a level when I see her next and look more deeper in her eyes and compliment her eyes and smile, but I just don't think she feels anything but friendship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's okay, it's nothing wrong with you. You sound like a great guy. Sometimes, you just get friend zoned. I bet she feels like it would AWFUL to lose you if you ended up seperating. In fact, she may very well like you, and she also is too scared to admit it to you. This happens all the time.

    • Thank you. I just pull my hair out thinking about this, I've not been myself for weeks now. I even started thinking I'm ugly for her to be like this, I just don't know anymore :(

  • The only way to find out is COMMUNICATION, tell her how you feel...see her reaction, then you will know what to do!

    • I'm not sure if I can do that yet, I had an argument and resolved that recently. Last thing I wanna do is freak her out and for her to distancd herself from me. My luck isn't good so I'm thinking this would happen.

    • Don't act insecure, is better to know soon than later, then you will be hurt...and 5 years is enough, that's a long time, I have a very close guy friend, know him for 10 years, he always tells me he is in love with me but I've been clear with him he's only a friend to me...but he told me his feelings, you should do the same, if she's not interested then you can look somewhere else, if she rejects you you'll be sad for some days...don't be scared and talk, is the best thing to do!

    • You are right I know. Thank you. Your guy friend feels for you but is he living in hope it will happen? I will test the waters and see how she may feel towards me, I know I will be hurt but I'm just sure she doesn't feel that way towards me. And you may be an exception as your guy friend is still good friends, I don't think my friendship will be the same if I say something. I may just have to back off and distance myself if need being.

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