Why am I like this in every relationship?

why every time I'm in a relationship I feel like I'm not really into the relationship even tho I really like the person but I know myself and in my mind I don't wanna get hurt so I feel the need to not get attached and be realistic that the relationship won't last and so I feel like I'm cold towards my partners and I hate feeling like they really like me and care for me and once I get bored of them I hurt them and I don't mean to but its just how I am and I don't know what to do.

idk why I'm like this. is this normal? is it just a phase? I don't wanna keep hurting my lovers. its like I like them at first and then I just lose all feelings/interest and need to move on and I hate it when they seem so heart broken because I don't like hurting people and it makes me wonder will I also get hurt like that by someone?

i mean it always starts nice, I like the guy, he makes me happy, then I start being a bitch I get bored I break up with them and the cycle continues and every time I keep in my mind that this kind of relationships don't last and love is all fake and corny

I'm still young and will have more relationships but my ex's always seem to think we will last a long time but in my mind I'm always doubting it because I know I will get bored :/ is this bad?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're not leading them on, you can't control if your ex's thought it was forever. You're just not ready for a relationship, and you said it yourself, you're afraid of getting hurt. You just have to find the guy you're willing to hurt over. Part of the fun of dating is getting hurt. I mean that sincerely. Pining madly for something that won't work, thinking up ways to change yourself so they'll love you. It's a great lesson.

    You have to care for the relationship to work, and if you care you risk getting hurt. Only the brave and reckless fall in love. If anything, keep dating, but keep it casual.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Well you don't have to date if it's such a problem.

    You could wait until the situation changes and you feel differently.

  • I know what you mean. I did this for years before I found a relationship that didn't turn stale right away. They're out there...keep looking.

    In the meantime learn as much as you can, life is one big game. You might as well learn how to play well.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm the same way. I'm afraid to get hurt but I thinks its because I don't have strong feelings for them. I don't seen them as someone I could be with for a while so I end things. I never intend to

    hurt them but I'm just not happy. I really haven't figured it out but I know one day it will feel right so now I just take my time making sure that I'm really happy. I think that's how you know their not the one, you find yourself holding back because you're afriad to trust and let them in your life. Thir just not the one nor are they someone you can see yourself with for awhile. Just be happy, it sucks that they fall for you but they should take your time. Someones going to walk into your life and you'll know that iits what you want.

    • thank you, I kinda agree with the way you see this :)

    • Ive been happy once, I let my guard down, stopped being so shy and really wanted to be with this guy and he just walked out of my life wiithout a goodbye. I know that kind of happiness does exist, I find myself settling for these nice guys that I like but not enough to really want a relationship. I'm tired of settling so I'm just going to be happy being single now and when/if it happens take my time and really decide if its what I want but no more settling.

  • I do have the same feelings... I always doubt of myself.

    I like the guy, but I don't feel I can fall into him because I am too afraid to be get hurt.

    We do not contact a lot that makes me scared and changes my feelings. I suddently think he might not that into me, and I did guess a lot and wanted to end now.

    But I've considering I am getting older, and this guy might be a nice guy and I don't want to lose him. So I still try to keep positive.

    Never expect, never disappoint.