Is he really just a lying jerk?

I met this guy when I was 15, we have a lot of mutual friends and share the same inner circle. I feel for him the day we met. When I graduated high school my grandma took me to Italy for 2 weeks. Before I left, I wrote him a 4 page letter with all my feelings. When I got back he took me off for a romantic weekend, and it all started there. We didn't start a serious relationship because we were both very busy, so we kept things casual but did not see other people. Suddenly, there was this new girl in our "group" and I was getting a funny feeling about him and her. He told me I had nothing to worry about and he saw her only as a friend. A few months go by, and they start going on dates and such. I told him I can't stand liars and I never wanted to see or talk to him again. He broke my heart, he was my first love. I started seeing someone new and about two weeks after that, the original guy calls and wants to sit down and talk, so we did. After our talk I didn't see him for a year. I went off to college, moved to a new town, dated other guys. One weekend I was home visiting my parents and he shows up at the door, completely unannounced. He wanted to be friends again, but he was still with this other girl. We started hanging out and talking. He helped me move my stuff back home, took me to dinner and things like that. Then he told me he broke up with his girlfriend. He started spending the night and hanging out, but nothing physical ever happened except some cuddling. They got back together. didn't hear from him for a while. They broke up again. We were all at his sisters house drinking one night. Him, one other friend and me were all sitting outside and he is talking about how he let this girl go, let her slip through his fingers, how much he messed up and regretted it. Then went home with me and told me how much he missed me and wanted to be with me. Then ignored me for a few weeks. Came around again and did the same thing. I told him he needed to make up his mind or leave me alone. It wasn't fair. Didn't hear from him for a couple months and then I hear he has a new girlfriend. We ended up hanging out and he kissed me and held my hand. Obviously this is extremely confusing to me. I've asked him to stop, I've tried to be a total bitch to him, but nothing deters him from coming back and messing with me. I still love him more than anything, and it would make me the happiest girl alive for us to be together. I just don't know what to think about all of this!


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  • He probably know that you will always be there. That could be why he is treating you like that, he knows that if he wants to, he can be with you. He has no fear that you will chose someone else over him. And he is also confused himself. IT is probably best to stay only friends with him for now. And don't push him into making up his mind etc. Just leave him to have his own life and you have your own until you both figure out your relationship. You have given him many opportunities to be with you.