What does "take it slow" mean?

Let me start off by saying I made a huge mistake with a guy I have been seeing for a month. So this issue is of my own doing. I met a guy online and have been seeing him for a month. We agreed mutually we wanted to see where this was going and decided to not talk to other people. I took my profile down because I have no interest in talking to anyone else. I was under the impression he did the same. At about the month mark I feel like there is something different in how he is acting. Mainly not responding to messages (he said he did not get any) but I could not help but notice when I was with him he seemed to be getting everyone else's messages just fine and when we talk on the phone it is only for a few minutes where as before it would be for at least an hour or more. He said it is because he knows I have to go to work early and does not want to keep me up. When we are together he is very loving and attentive.

So here is where I transform into psycho girl...I became suspicious so I naturally had to investigate. I found his profile was still up and he had altered his screen name by adding a couple of letters and it showed he had been active within the last 24hrs. So I totally loose my cool and send a mile long text about how he lied to me. He calls back and asks what I am talking about so I happily explain. He says he change the screen name because his ex had managed to log into all of his accts and was reading all of his messages and emails. He said he had to change everything. And when you delete a message it shows as being active. I personally see no point in maintaining an inbox when you are not interested in seeing other people. I mean who cares if there are 700 messages. Right? But I digress. After talking to him I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I was wrong. I leave several messages and finally yesterday he calls me back. I offer profuse apologies and vow to make it up to him. I asked how he felt about that and he said he really misses me but does not trust that I am not a complete basket case. (I feel I should point out all girls are nutty, so his expectation is a little delusional) I can see totally his point but want to try to continue with him. He said he just wants to take things slow and see where they go? What does this mean? Where does this leave me? And how do I proceed?


Most Helpful Girl

  • sounds like he's keeping you around "just in case." He's definitely still looking. 'course going psycho didn't help. fyi...Not all girls go psycho...

    Keeping a cool head in these situations will help you determine whether he is a scumbag or not. When you overreact based on emotions you may force him to go even further undercover. Remember, you're simply trying to ascertain the truth about his intentions and who he is as a person--not intimidate or scream him into being a descent person bcs he lied to you. Because after all of the screaming, if he really is a dirtbag, you're not changing anything. You're just saying, "I'm so crazy about you and irrational that I don't want to know who you are or what you really do. I want to remain in ignorant bliss so I never have to feel unwanted or cheated on."

    Many guys have gfs like this, they simply go 007 on her and continue to lie and cheat. keep your head cool.

    good luck!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I think he is playing with you.

    So proceed with caution. Think it over, do what you feel is best for you.

  • I think he is still looking but wants to keep you around in case he doesn`t find another

    if it was me I would try and not contact him and see if he calls you and how long it takes him to do so


What Girls Said 1

  • I mean I guess it depends on when it's said. If he said it before anything started I would not be as interested and if he said it while things were started that is when I would pull the emergency breaks and back off completely.

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