Girls, what are the three most important qualities that you look for in a guy?

obvious question but please, don't be like "well.. he has to be..." and then list every positive quality under the sun. what are most key for you? also, how do you spot it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a bit wordy, but a serious question merits serious answers. Bear with me.

    1) A man with some confidence; to be able to make decisions if I ask him to, and have goals.

    •This is important because he needs to be his own person, and be able to function with or without me. I want to be a girlfriend, not a mother/guidance counselor.

    •How to spot: When talking, doesn't constantly give non-committal replies such as "I dunno, you pick" or "Whatever you want is fine." Also talks about things he wants to achieve or accomplish, no matter how small the goal.

    2) Someone with respect, for others and himself– especially towards family (either his or mine), and females.

    •This is important because I'm a big family person, and any guy I 'bring home to mother' needs to be able to be well mannered and respectful to my loved ones, and if his relationship is positive with his family, I would like to see the same respect directed at my family shown to his. Also, a man with respect for himself is a man who takes care of himself, which is equally important to a healthy relationship.

    •How to spot: Use of respectful titles or pronouns, relatively well-spoken, may help people who need a hand. Healthy person, leading semi- or fairly active lifestyles. It won't be anyone cat-calling, talking down to others, or trash-talking, and unlikely to be house-hermits.

    3) I'm not sure what to call this, but... Men who are around, but not smothering. I don't need you in my purse, going through my phone, calling every two hours. I do however, like to spend some time with a guy almost daily, even if it's only a short meet-up for lunch break or a quick call before bed to say goodnight. A single text or email on days we don't talk is a nice way to know he's still thinking of me and if he's doing alright, even if he's arse-over-end busy. I guess 'socially committed?'

    •Why is it important? Because I'd hate to feel like my partner was unreliable because I could never reach him in moments I really need someone, and I also wouldn't want to feel over burdened to take care of someone who can't be alone for five minutes. Again, I'm trying to be a girlfriend, not a caretaker. That stuff doesn't come until you're both eighty-five and failing.

    •How to spot: No idea, it's something you figure out about them as time goes on. A guy who's good with communication early on can start ignoring you later on, or vice-versa.


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What Girls Said 3

  • 1) Someone who lets me be my own person and is also an individual himself. If a guy won't trust you and is clingy, then you probably shouldn't be dating him in the first place, so I would say he would have to be able to trust me and vice versa for him. Also, (2) I like boys who are different. My boyfriend is one of the weirdest people I've ever met and I absolutely LOVE it! (3) Great bodies are nice, but I'm truly a sucker for smart boys. This makes for hours of conversation and also, adding to this, I like well-rounded boys.

  • intellectual - not just academically 'clever'. you need to be able to have a decent conversation.

    great bod - deal breaker

    confident/independent/non clingy - I've had crazy jealousy, not up for it. just pushes you away.

    unlikely combination, however.

  • 1-- first and foremost. they have to truly love animals. this means, not hunting, and being appreciative of wildlife/nature and of course, loving my dogs. if they have their own, that's great too.

    2-- have a great sense of humor, if he can't make me laugh, we won't get very far

    3-- be independent. I don't want a clingy boyfriend and I don't want someone who is always turning to people to ask for help. its fine sometimes but I'm independent and I think my best mate would be too

    • well I'm vegetarian, hilarious but I cling like duck tape

    • haha well that's interesting, I really don't know many guys who are clingy. not my thing though, id feel smoothered

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