How come in relationships it seems like the girl speaks out more than the guy?

Like when it comes on deciding things how come the girl does most of the talking & the guy doesn't say much. Especially when it comes to planning a wedding or a get together.

I notice females tend to have more friends or people they know than males do. When it comes to meeting people I notice the female does all the talking while the male just sit there quietly.

Females tend to be more talkative than males not saying all females, but in most cases it is like that.

Why is it like that?

What if a guy gets with a girl who isn't as outspoken & the male has to do all the talking? Would that be a big turn off for a guy?

Because I notice guys seem to love it when girls do the deciding factor.

Why can't both male & female be outspoken instead of just one person doing all the talking?

I can't be in a relationship where I have to do all the talking, but it seems like males are so quiet & don't really talk much nowadays.

What is up with that? Is it just in the males nature to be that way?


Most Helpful Guy

  • We men are supposed to be leaders but the male sex has de-evolved in my opinon over the years. One type of evidence is what you speak of, the indicisiveness of men and their inability/unwillingness to plan and speak up. Guys have gotten to the point where they're okay taking the back seat and letting the girl lead and it's sad. Guys will become submissive and will refrain from stating their opinion about something so as to not anger the girl and in general don't want to stand up for what they believe in, rather it's easier for them to coast and hang low. There are real men out there, but a real man is becoming more and more rare as time goes on.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Honestly, it's not like that, at least not like that for me.

    When it comes to talking, I can bullsh*t back and forth with ladies just fine. When I'm dating there is usually a regular flow of conversation, unless I'm concentrating on something else (i.e. ignoring her from her point of view).

    What I will say is that I've got no interest in talking about some things. "Do you like this or this better?" My honest answer is usually "They are both fine" but that drives some women mad.

    Something to understand about men. Most of us don't spend hours and hours focusing out attention on the tiny details that are practically insignificant. I've got two identical shirts, except one is slightly more blue than the other, for example. I have never actually put any practical thought as to which I am going to choose over the other when I decide to wear one of them.

    I have outfits, pre-planned, pre-purchased, where everything looks good, and some items can be exchanged between outfits, sure, but when I was selecting these outfits for purchase guess how long it took me?

    Random time: (I need to buy some more shirts)

    *Gets paid*; *after work* (Oh yeah, I need to get shirts) *walks to clothing store* *walks to men's department* *quickly identifies a shirt that will match pants he already owns OR quickly identifies a shirt that looks good and finds a pair of pants that matches* *Buys 3 of each selected item, only each item is a slight variation in color*

    And guess what? This process works great. No stress. People think I look good. I know I look good. Easy easy.

    Granted, this is easier for me, as I'm a man. I can buy a specific sized pants and know that they are going to fit. I can buy one size of polo shirts and know they will show off enough of me to look good without being super tight. Dress shirts for men have a military uniform measurement system that's been in place for a long time as well; much easier for us (there is no such system for women right now unfortunately).

    So, that said, this is why I keep conversations about fashion brief. Fashion is easy for men.

    All that said, I usually do share my interests with the women I'm with; sometimes this is to my detriment (I don't know a woman IRL that knows much about chess, about the Rubik's cube, about quantum physics, or any of that). Common discussions of interests usually are limited to health, exercise, flirting, politics, whatever media we both enjoy, food, and the like.

    • Oh yeah... as far as the wedding stuff goes: we avoid THAT because if we are ACTUALLY in charge of any of those decisions and we are asked to select our ACTUAL preference between any two wedding items... we're going with whatever costs the least.

      MEN ARE PRACTICAL for the most part. If women would be happy with $5.00 weddings, you damn well better know most men would go for that.

      This is why weddings are typically seen as a treat for the woman.

  • Men generally aren't interested in mingling at a wedding or planning activities with other couples. They have friends and their girlfriend. They don't want to f*** around with a bunch of people they barely know.

  • Because no matter what we do/say, it will lead to a big fuss and disagreements. We tend to go with the flow and at times female can be wrong. Don't get me wrong, guys can be wrong too.

  • because the female brain functions a lot more different then that of the male's

  • not all guys are socially-functional


What Girls Said 1

  • I am the same, I don't like doing the talking... it just doesn't feel right, I want him to feel like the man and not like I'm his mom telling him what to do. My parent's realtionship is like this and I can't stand it, I do like the idea of it being a partnership, but usually one has to take the lead, I guess it just depends on the situation, if one is better at whatever it is you're doing then he/she will take the lead... I find it so attractive when the man can take lead, and I'm sure he thinks the same too, but of course it can get out of hand and become controlling... so there's always a balance... I think women are just becoming more powerful in realtionships were it used to be just the man with the power, I don't think either is right or wrong, but personally I am more old fashioned..

    BTW I love your hair! How do you get your curls to look like that? :)