How do you deal with a situation where a bunch of guys are all after the same girl?

I work at a summer camp with a bunch of guys (it's a boys camp). We all live together and it's like a college frat in many ways. Anyway, there's this one very attractive girl who works with us (one of a few girls at camp). Pretty much all the guys like her and are after her, we're talking about 8-9 guys here, maybe more. They all want to sleep with her or date her. I like her also, but am looking for more of a relationship although am fine with being friends. I absolutely hate situations like this because I don't like competing for a girl, it doesn't feel natural.

The girl is oblivious to the fact that all these guys like her, but whenever they see her, often they either stare or chat her up. Just trying to see what the best way to handle a situation like this is, whether I should play it cool or jump right and and try to compete for her. It's like I don't want to compete but I don't want to miss out at the same time. So... any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, don't believe she's oblivious to the fact. She's well aware. She's a hot girl. She knows guys want her because they're contantly approaching her either in setting or elsewhere.

    Secondly, how do you play into this game? First, realize that this is a VERY low percentage shot. Having said that, you should still play. But don't be focused on the outcome--focus instead on the process. Try to learn as much as you can from what happens here and how the winner ultimately wins, so that next time you'll be a little bit closer to winning.

    Next, all those other chodes are no doubt bending over backwards to impress this girl and demonstrate why she should "choose" them. Either that, your you have the "nice guy" losers who think they'll convince her by demonstrating their sincerity and desire to be in a relationship and show off their "good boyfriend" qualities.

    You want to be neither of these guys. From what you wrote, it sounds like you're more likely the second than the first, but you really don't want to be either. What guy should you be? Be the guy who's the most fun in the room. And not just to her, but to the other guys. If the other guys are focusing on how you're one of the cooler guys, she'll notice. This can only help your cause. Show her you're awesome, but don't direct that display to her. Demonstrate you're awesomeness to the other folks so she's exposed to it indirectly.

    Ever see a bunch of people on the street looking up at a tall building? What do you do? You turn and look too. That's what you want.

    In the meantime, learn all you can about this girl. Does she have a bf? Has she had one recently? What's she into, etc., etc. This is all useful.

    Should you find yourself in a small group with her, undoubtedly, several guys will be tripping over each other to impress her or blow out the other guys. Don't play that game. Simply turn to some of the unoccupied guys and have a great fun conversation. If you get them laughing, she'll want in on the fun.

    • Well I'm kinda like the nice guy, but I have a sense of humor with a quick with and am good at making people laugh. Maybe I should use that?

    • Definitely. Just use it the right way. It's counterintuitive, but you're better off using those skills NEAR her than ON her. Get her seeing you leading the social interactions you have with the other guys around you. While she's being innundated with boring guys trying to impress her, you should be having more fun and she should want to be part of that.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If she's acting oblivious to all of this male attention, she very well could have a boyfriend. Anyway, just feel it out. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Most people don't end up with something serious from these types of temporary settings anyway, just due to the fact that they're temporary. If you build it up in your mind, you'll beat yourself down for playing a game where the odds are stacked against you. If you go in with a clear mind and a "who knows?" attitude, you have nothing to lose.


What Guys Said 2

  • You better bring your A-game. State your intentions up front, don't pretend to be her friend. Don't complement her on her beauty, attractive girls get enough of that. Be prepared for rejection (after all, she can afford to be choosy) and hope for the best.

  • Biggest **** wins!