How do I talk to her about this?!

Okay so My girlfriend has been gone for the weekend and I haven't seen her in a week. We barely even talked why she was gone because the phone bill would have been ridiculous. However we still had the option of FB chat. Either way she just got back 2 days ago and never texted me so yesterday I sent her a text saying "hey, I miss you" and she responded saying she misses me too and that we should hang out soon. So I told her the days I was a available but she never responded. So this morning I tell her to call me later today so we can work out a time to hang out and she agreed. I figure out from a mutual friend that she is hanging out with some guy today which is her "best friend" and is "like a brother to her" but she hangs out with him over me many times. I talk to some of me and his mutual friends about this and they laugh at me saying there is nothing going on and that I'm silly for even thinking so, that he is a Nice guy if they ever saw one and that he is always friendzoned. To me since I don't know him... he is competition, another male competing for time with my girlfriend and he's got me beat. She talks him up like he's the best person ever, makes time for him and not me and in a few cases ditched me for him, gets excited when he texts her and will ignore me when texting him. If you ask me, that is f***ing weird as hell and fishy. All of our mutual friends tell me that she would never cheat and that she likes me a lot. If she does, she sure has a funny way of showing it. I like this girl... a lot, I've been waiting 3 months for her not to be busy and she told me once its the summer that she will be able to hang out more but its 2 weeks in and we still Haven't moved on from out once a week hang outs. How do I talk to her about this, Its killing me emotionally and I really want t work this out but I just don't know how to approach it


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't give her an ultimatum, she'll feel cornered and pushed. If someone would tell me: it's me or the other, I'd choose the other because the other didn't make me choose.

    I'd just talk to her about it, tell her you feel uncomfortable and that you feel pushed aside by her because of him. Tell her how you feel about all this, even though maybe you don't like talking about it. Other actions are "allowed" when you talk about it, she knows it and she still doesn't change her habits.

    Give her benefit of the doubt and at least let her know.

    Also, but I'm not an expert and sometimes quite childish when it comes to making effort, if she's not making any effort, neither should you. If you're in a relationship it's a two way street, not a one way street with some parkingspots. Let her make some effort too!

    If she doesn't do anything to meet up or to hear or see you, you need to talk to her about that as well.

    Hope it works out!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • ultimatum... its me or him. tell her "your my girlfriend not his so act like it or leave"

    not worth being with someone who doesn't care about you

    • I don't think giving her a Black or White situation would work very well. She would feel like I'm holding her back and I still want her to feel like she has freedom and I don't want to be a control freak, I just want to see her is all. I would never want to take away her best friend but as of right now, he's taking me away

    • i don't know maybe its just me but if she feels cornered and held back by that then she doesn't deserve to be with you. friend or not, you come first before the friend. friend should come second. but I'm irrational and crazy so don't listen to me.

    • Ive been told by numerous friends that she doesn't deserve me... Not like I'm some amazing huge catch but I care about people and make sure that they are happy and she doesn't return that at all

What Guys Said 1

  • Here's my opinion: She's cheating and getting everyone to cover up what she's doing. I may be wrong. It isn't a good sign she's "talking him up like he's the best person ever".

    Get a "like a sister to you" kind of thing going with someone else, or get many (I encourage this more). You need to treat YOU better like a VIP - along with giving yourself options.

    • These people are more my friend than they are hers, people I trust that wouldn't lie to me like that. One of them is my best friend and I know for sure he wouldn't cover for her then lie to me. I do have one but id never ditch my Girlfriend to be with her

    • You need to tell her you do not like this. Every time she does this to you is a lack of respect. She's starts texting him, you walk away from her. Don't be afraid of doing your own thing.