Does dating girls make a man more sexist?

So here's the deal...

I've had a number of one-night stands, girls I've seen in the short-term, etc. I've had a good time, they've had a good time, we went our separate ways.

Now, I've been trying to date girls for a more serious relationship as of lately. Honestly, I've experienced nothing but frustration.

Here's what I've been through:

- Flakes (girls not showing up on time to dates)

- Girls claiming to date you exclusively, but still keep their dating profiles up (even sent one girl who claimed to be dating me exclusively, but when I sent her a message from a fake profile, she said she wasn't seeing anyone)

- Spending way more money trying to see girls than when I just hit it and quit it

- Emotional disconnects from the girls (try to share some of my background, girls not opening up emotionally about what their insecurities are or what their past was like, it makes me feel vulnerable to share about my past and then get nothing in return)

- I'm not expecting sex right away, but then I end up getting none due to girls flaking, not wanting to commit, playing the field, etc, so now I'm horny as hell, as well as emotionally and mentally drained, I feel sick

Bottom line, the more I date girls and try to respect them, the more I can't stand them. Honestly, I don't want to hate women, but it is becoming very hard for me not to view them just as sex objects. The more I've tried to respect and take girls seriously in the form of a potential relationship, the more emotional torture I seem to inflict on myself.

At this juncture, I don't even feel motivated to even go for a one-night stand. I am truly disconnected from women. Are there any other guys out there like me? I am depressed beyond belief. I'm going to be 30 years old next year and am trying to get into a serious relationship, but I'm getting nothing to work with.

I seriously am tempted to just view the next woman I come in contact with as just a receptacle to deposit a load and leave it at that. I can't believe that trying to be more mature has just made me miserable. What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not to go all Morpheus on you... but, "I know *exactly* how you feel." I had several bad experiences, and seriously now I feel better just ignoring girls. So emotional, lying, forever changing what they said or claiming they meant... I haven't actually had conversation with a girl that wasn't a seriously just a friend in six months. I've gotten approached, and just feel irritation at the intrusion. I'd rather just spend my time writing legal essays and playing videogames, now.

    And I second that, what you said. Be respectful to girls, and they don't give a sh*t for you. They'll dump you for a guy they themselves call a jerk. Just go for what you want, and you'll get it easily.

    • I'm thinking about avoiding girls for a while and just focus on me at the moment. I never thought that dating would make me hate myself for who I feel I have to become to build attraction in a girl. It is good to know that I'm not crazy, and apparently there are a lot of other guys out there like me. Good luck man!

    • Thanks, and to you too. And thanks for asking this question--I'm glad to know I'm not alone, in feeling like this.

    • No problem, here, have the best answer.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • you're looking in the wrong place, and trying with the wrong women. find a girl whose at the same maturity level as you, so you will both basically want the same things from the relationship=less frustration.

  • Well I'm a girl but I feel about men how you do about girl right now and I didn't have to try lots of one-night stands to feel that way about dating.

  • I agree with Anon guy down there. I think you're just approaching it the wrong way...too aggressively/driven

  • I am going out with a guy like you for months: lots of experiences with girls and secretive, so I can tell you how a girl feel here. Although I really like him, I can't help but be self-defensive with him. I enjoy our time together, but I can't tell for how long our relationship can last. So you might say I don't take him for real unless he'll show a true desire/commitment. I think it's quite similar to your case. You says you want to have serious relationships but it seems you want to get it fast and easily without paying too much effort for the girls.

    - Of course, you will spend more money to attemp for a serious relationship because you both go out more often. Fast food is always cheaper than a classy meal >.<

    - You haven't got the emotional connection with the girls because the girls also wonders if this guy is serious ab me or maybe your past is a big shock to them. Just give them time and be open that you are mature enough to be responsible for a long term relationship.

    - And don't feel frustrated ab they still keeps their datign profiles up because after all, you both haven't had any commitment yet, so they may think thay this guy will move away fast

    Anyways, good luck to you! wish you can find your Miss Right soon ^^

    • I went out with one girl for 9 dates and didn't sleep with her, nor try to sleep with her. I enjoyed her company, and although she had faults, I was trying to move towards being exclusive with her, then she just disappeared. I don't know what gives.

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    • Uh huh, I see. It sounds strange. But if I tried my best to work it out, I'd move on cause there is nothing else I can do. There must be some one more suitable for you out there. Wish that you'll have a better luck next time.

    • Thanks, I guess that's all I can do.

What Guys Said 5

  • I think it makes you more realistic and when you actually date women they kinda take themselves off the pedistal by there own.actions I think feminism made the modern women impossible to deal with it turned women into our competitors (essentially becoming men) and not our partners

    • I guess. It just seems like a bitter pill to swallow.

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    • Threatened isn't the right word its closer to disgusted

    • Agreed. I feel repulsion more than anything.

  • I say give up looking for a long term relationship.

    - It's not worth the money.

    - It's not worth the time.

    - It's not worth the energy.

    - It's definitely not worth the pain.

    I say just go for one night stands/one-off bangs.

    • Did you experience some or all of the things I'm going through? What makes you say all that? I'm assuming you have something that resounded with my experience? Do you find yourself respecting women less? I just have this feeling that I'm not alone.

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    • I think I'm beginning to reach your same conclusion.

    • Its in their favor not because of numbers but because men desire access to womens reproductive system . Technically their are more women then men so its in our favor and if you make money you can just play women by dangling a relationship in their face like a carrot they will never catch then.on to the

  • Stop looking for decent functional women on dating sites. Undamaged women a rarely on those sites. and most of them on those sites are there because of guys that "hit it and quit" when they were looking for relationships so they become paranoid and neurotic and have difficulty holding a relationship together or have over blown expectations.

    That's not to say there aren't a few decent ones there but they're few and far between.

  • You should approach all women like that, and then let the relationship follow.

  • Have you considered starting as non exclusive friends with benefits and simply being open to more if it develops, and only becoming exclusive if she shows herself to be worth it?