Was my first approach succesful? Should I ask her out?

Apologies for making this long, but I'd use some help here!

So lately, my father -who owns the cafe-bar I work at- was telling me stories of this new girl that tries to learn the job. He told me I should meet her and that I will definitely like her. I took that as the usual teasing he does to me and didn't pay attention. Yesterday, after work, I was eating a sandwich in the kitchen, when a girl entered. She seemed anxious, so I assumed she was the new one. I proceeded to greet her (unfortunately, with my mouth almost full! Bad luck!) and asked her if she was new here. We had a minimal chat and I had to apologize for eating because she had trouble hearing me at times! After a while, before I left, I wished her good luck and told her I was glad to meet her, to which she only smiled, but with one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen.

Today, I was working again, and after my shift was over, she came again. This time, I was watching a guy from Bacardi who came to 'train' the bartenders in new cocktails, and since she came earlier, we had a little chat. I asked her if she was anxious and paid her a few encouraging comments, asked her about her age -she is 19, I'm 20 by the way- and about her studies. After that, we sat next to each other at the bar to continue watching the bartender guy. At some point, he was talking about the temperature of the glass, and when he went a few steps away, I remarked 'oh, is he going to bring a thermometer or something?'. She started laughing at my comment, and later, when I also commented on his display being scientific, she said 'haha, you should stop studying Physics and get into bartending' (I''m in Physics school).

Anyway...I'm not the best in flirting, and that's why I'm posting so many details so you could tell me what I could be doing wrong. The thing is, I have a feeling about this girl. After my long-term relationship with my ex was over, she is the only girl I can picture going to the movies with, cuddling with, and in general doing random couple stuff. I've only seen her two times, yet I don't feel stressed around her and I'd like this to go well. My only concern is that she didn't return the questions back, but maybe she doesn't feel so relaxed in the environment of work yet.

So do you think I'm good so far? Should I ask her out? Also, something minor...do you think the fact that when I met her I was eating could have turned her off?

Thank you!

Also, do you think I'm being far too friendly rather than flirty? But I didn't see a chance to flirt...


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What Girls Said 2

  • You're doing fine, actually!

    1. The food thing won't turn her off. It happens, and it won't be the first thing on her mind at all, especially if you continue these conversations.

    2. Ultimate flirtation isn't always a good thing. The mix of being friendly, making funny comments, and generally slowly making her feel more comfortable will make you a better candidate for a long term relationship.

    3. You're not doing anything wrong at all. Just keep talking to her. She'll open up more as you go on (TRUST ME ON THAT. I'm similar. I'm not good at flirting. I don't need a guy to flirt with me to like him. I'm in a relationship right now, and what I love the most is that he's my friend as well. I'm not just attracted to him, I'm comfortable around him. And that's because he took the time to get to know me, and allowed me the time to get to know him).

    Keep up the good work. As you talk more, and you see she becomes more and more comfortable, you'll flirt more, whether you realize it or not. It sounds weird, but that's what happens.

  • I think you're doing just fine. The eating-and-talking-at-the-same-time part is not that much of a disaster, just don't do it again. :P

    My opinion: Wait a bit before you ask her out. If she's shy, there's a good possibility that she'll reject you even if she likes you, if you ask her so early.

    Try to talk to her some more while at work and learn some more things about her..

    Oh and about the flirting part. To me there's nothing better-sexier-(add positive word) than a person who's honest and who's not afraid to talk about himself, even if that makes him a bit "vulnerable". It's very simple, yet very rare nowadays. People are too afraid of getting hurt (both men and women) and the result is fake people, fake relationships but real pain in the end.

    I wish you the best of luck!


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