My girlfriend's situation

My 20-year-old girlfriend of almost one year suffers from agoraphobia/anxiety/depression. She never goes out on her own, never sees anyone unless it's me taking her out. I used to have anxiety myself, but nothing quite like hers.

So, she lives with her dad, who she is very distant from; he keeps to himself and she keeps to herself. He has no idea how much her daughter is suffering inside. She tells me he says thing like, "Oh, you just think you have anxiety because I said I do." It's just so weird, he's obviously aware that she's always in her room, but yet never questions to ask her how she's doing or what's the matter. Her mother is a drug addict, so she's out of the picture. Basically, she did not have real, loving parents growing up, and that has affected her. Big time.

She worked at a grochery store when she was 16 for like 2 months; that's her only work experience. She blames her anxiety. She recently finished this Animal Welfare program online (I borrwed her the money so she could take it, her dad sure as hell wouldn't) so she could get a job working with animals. The place she was going to try and get a job at, which is very close to where she lives, has moved. It's a little further away now, like a 30 minute bus drive. She's afraid to take the bus because of well...her axneity. I offered to drive her, but she doesn't see how that'll work because I'm busy with work and school myself. She doesn't want to be anymore of a burden. She also isn't postive she'd even get a job there since you gotta volunteer first. So...she doesn't know what to do. She was now thinking of taking a Vet Assistant program at an actual school, but... (1) It's $6000, and she's broke. She only gets like 460 a month on welfare and she says since she's on welfare, she can't get a student loan. (2) Her anxiety.

My girlfriend feels so helpless right now. It makes me really sad to see her like this, she has had to endure these feelings for so long. She even went to see a phycologist for a while, but it was super expensive, so she had to stop; did like 3 sessions only. Said it didn't really help her. She has also tried different medications, but it all makes her really tired, which she hates.

She just wants a job, she wants to be educated, but she has no money and is limited by her anxiety. I'm seriously lost myself at what she's supposed to do.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Anxiety is such a bitch! She's going to have to start taking small steps of doing things that freak her out. I am sympathetic, because I started having panic attacks and learning to desensitize myself to the things that trigger anxiety is really tough. I'm using this book: link It's awesome, but it still takes a LOT of hard work. I'm only in my second month of doing this and also trying therapy for the first time. Finding someone who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is good -- just talking about it won't cure this type of problem. :( I wish you both the best of luck!


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What Girls Said 2

  • Thats a really tough situation, maybe she should talk to her doctor and ask if there are any other medications or things she could try that won't make her tired all the time. She could try to join a support group or an online community where she can get support and advice from people who have went through the same thing. I think the best thing for her to do to move forward in her life is to take more of an initiative to overcome her anxiety.

  • She should try to get any job posiible that's nearby, maybe a, waitress in a coffee shop close to where she lives. And with the money that she makes, she should go to a psychiatrist, 3 sessions isn't long enough to help her.


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