What does the change in him suggest?

Hey guys,

been a while since I've asked a question on here and coincidentally I'm back here asking questions about the same guy from four years ago. Obviously I don't expect anyone to remember the situation so ill try cut a long story short,

This guy was my first love.

my first kiss, my first everything.

he used me and I let him

he broke my heart.

he lead me on knowing that I liked him and would sleep with him when ever he asked.

while this was going on he got a girlfriend and we stopped.

he would never show any affection to me at all, would call me names, refused to go anywhere with me.

we lost contact for 3 years, last year I contacted him after I broke up with someone and found out he had broken up with his girlfriend.

we have been talking for about 8 months again and he has done a complete 360.

he talks to me everyday

tells me I'm cute

takes me out to the movies, coffee, football games his cousins birthday.

he gave me a necklace.

when he went overseas he brought me back a top and a keying.

he holds my hand in public

kiss me on the head and cheek.

last night we slept together for the first time since and the chemistry was completely different, he cuddled me while we watched a movie, and then wanted to cuddle and kiss me after we had finished which has never happened...Four years ago he would of said no cuddling get dressed where done.

This is all I ever wanted but I'm so scared that he will change again, I understand we are both different people now, we've both grown up.

I just need to know what you guys think this all means..

my friends think that its going to get serious because he wouldn't be putting in all this effort...But I don't want to get my hopes up, and I'd like an outsiders point of view because friends always tell you what you want to hear..

cant wait to hear back from you all :)

been a few years, but thought i might update this. after a year of being together he started to get shadey again, then told me he was in a realationship with a diffrent girl...he told me he really tried with me, but i played too hard to get this time
and that it could have been me, if i let him in closer..that was 2 years ago.

today he proposed to her.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If I were you I would be friendly but never fully submit to a relationship until you know for sure he has changed. I have seen guys in my past and a new a player who would go out with an ex or a girl they used and abused just to say they have a girlfriend. Then they will dump at the first chance they get when someone they really like comes their way. Always take care of yourself. Do not hold your breath but you can be civil. Wait it out and if he pushes tell him the truth. You do not want to restart a relationship that may not go anywhere, or will fail at the first chance he gets. The ball is now in your side of the court, you have the rightto be cautious and to expect better from him from what he put you through from the last relationship.


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What Guys Said 3

  • People do change. So it's possible that you'd be together. However, the fact that he had used you in the past, is something to think about. If this is a permanent quality of his, to use people, you'll never be happy. It might be useful to ask him about why he broke up with you.

    Perhaps, it might also be prudent to find out about his behavior towards other people. Using people is really bad. So, I'd be on the watch.

    • We were never together in the first place do there was no break up..I continue to pain a bad picture of him and I don't mean to...in the beginning we agree on no strings attached sex but then I fall for him...so I guess saying he used me isn't really right

    • In this case, it might work. But it'll take some time to figure this out. Do not rush things. There must be a reason why you broke up as a couple all those years ago. There is a reason why he broke up with his girlfriend. If you understand why that happened (using any means or approaches that are morally acceptable), you'd be much better informed about the prospects. Actually, talking to your friends will help a lot. They are much better informed than the users on this site about your situation.

  • Just watch the space.

    • what do you mean by that?

    • You don't no if you guys are going to get seroius, rather than building up this hope, watch the space so least if things don't work out then you won't be disappointed.

      Best Answer?

  • People do change and it seems like he does want to start something with you be the fact that he used you and took advantage makes his character questionable. Is that the type of person you want to be with? I would say take your time with him and see if he really has changed.


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