He can hang out with girls, but I can't?

So my boyfriend told me he feels uncomfortable with me hanging out with my guy friends,maybe he just meant one on one.I don't know,but when I'd hangout with them,he would get all sh*tty.So I stopped hanging out with them for a while,he went on saying he stopped seeing his girl friends because he knew I was insecure,yet I'd never heard of these girls or said to him don't hangout with such and such.Anyway,he has gone on holiday to his hometown and this girl said to him on Facebook are you free for a catch up?He said not sure but come out for a drink on Saturday because that's when I'll be going out with everyone.Maybe he was avoiding hanging out with her one on one..but still,I feel more uncomfortable him going out drinking with her and other people.How is that fair?And in the past he's said how he doesn't wanna go clubbing with out me.I understand that he hasn't seen all of his friends in ages,I don't care that he's going out clubbing without me,but I care,that it's okay for him to see girl friends,but not for me?Am I taking it the wrong way?I feel angry towards him but I don't want to exactly say anything while he's away..And this girl always posts on his Facebook saying she misses him,shes like his sister but still..How am I meant to know,I don't even know anyone from his past or his hometown.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you're not taking it the wrong way.

    If you want to see your guy friends, I believe you should be able to see them. They were there before your boyfriend was. He should understand that.

    If he has a problem about that, then talk to him about the girl on HIS page.

    • I don't know if I should go see them while he's away..I don't want to play games and I don't want to fight,just wondering if I should talk to him about it when he gets back.I already feel funny about him going out and getting drunk,he is the same with me..but he has every right to go out,when it comes to the girl friends though..that's unfair.

    • Games, seeing your friends isn't a game, unless you're sleeping around.

      There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with guys, outside your boyfriend.PERIOD.

      Yes, talk to him

      You are right. It is unfair.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Men and women are hard-wired for sexual tension, which brings jealousy to bear. This is why men have traditionally maintained only male friends, and women only female friends. This is also why wedding vows include the term "foresaking all others". You can both continue on in your childhood "mingling" traditions or you can look to a life together "foresaking all others", but you can't have it both ways without a lot of misery.


What Girls Said 2

  • Double standards like that never work in a relationship, although some with try to get away with it. If it's bothering you, then you have every right to call him out on it. I'm a firm believer that things like this need to be fair. I've never dated a girl so I don't know how often it goes on with them, but I know plenty of guys who have tried to get away with this kind of behavior. Whether it be hanging out with people of the opposite gender, talking to them on the phone/texting a lot, going to strip clubs, etc. I know guys who want to do all of those things, but would freak if their girl did. You don't need to verify what your gut is already telling you. If it feels unfair, it probably is.

  • Yes you can. He's not the boss of you.