Slept with my boyfriend's friend.

I'm 24 and my guy is 26. I met him 3 years ago through a friend. We went to the same school and I would see him and we would talk on fb, but nothing ever came up to have a date. Until of October of 2011, we were texting so I invited him to my house and we had wine and kissed for the first time. That's when I realized we had a connection and I wanted to see more of him. We started going on dates, he went to a wedding with me, met my parents, and all my best friends. With time our relationship became amazing. There is no arguments, jealousy, everything is flowing perfectly. We spend more time together and are becoming closer and closer. He said he doesn't see his future without me and that he wants to have a serious relationship with me. That's all I want with him as well. He treats me like I never was by any other guy. He's very genuine and a great person to have in my life. He says how happy he is with me and so am I.

About 2 years ago, I did have a one night stand. It meant nothing and I regretted it right away. Turns out that my one night stand is my bf's sisters boyfriends friend (I know long explanation). He found out on Saturday few days ago. I had no idea there was any relation between them.He came Saturday night to drop of keys of mine. He came in and wouldn't even look at me. I told him it was so long ago and it means nothing. I told him he can't leave me by of this. I never cheated or did anything since he came to my life as a boyfriend. Of course I have a past and so does he. But he said he needs time to think and will call me on Monday. He started crying at my house and hugged me. He never said he is done with me, just he needs time. He's upset because he will see thus guy buy he is not his best friend. He sees him once a year or so. He said he feels like his heart is being ripped out.

I care for him so so much. I want him in my life. I will get over him, but I don't want to and I know he doesn't want to either. I feel as if he was done with me, he wouldn't come inside nor cry nor call me Monday. I don't want him to leave me. The advice I have gotten is that I haven't done anything wrong because it's in the past and it is. How can I talk to him to make this work? He is a very proud person. I'm so scared of losing him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You did nothing but it is sometimes hard for people to dismiss the past as past when there is a walking reminder out there. Hopefully your one nighter was with a guy who understands how things work and he isn't the a**hole to brag about it and make things weird. There isn't much you can do except keep professing your strong feelings for him. Men are very territorial and I think they have more jealousy issues than women.

    Also one thought that might be in his head is that he had to work so hard to be with you and this guy just hit a grand slam and got in your pants almost immediately. No guy wants to think that some other guy handled their chick better than them and can brag about it. I don't know how you would go about explaining that thought away but maybe you can say that you were just lonely and horny and he happened to be in the right place at the right time. IDK. patience will win this battle.

    • Thank you for saying this. The guy is a douche, how would this benefit him and why would he need to say anything? it hit me like a rock. You made me look in a new perspective how he might feel when you said that this guy slept with me with no trying at all. Good thing is that he is coming over tonight to talk.Its so comforting to know when you have an issue, you could get help and advice from people who do not know you and sometimes its the best. Thanks again! :))

    • You're welcome.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Since the 'incident' happened before you were in a relationship with him, I think you did nothing wrong. Unless that incident is your first time. Then it is much more complicated.

    • Thank u! he is coming over tonight to talk like adults so I'm happy. Thank you for giving me advice :)

  • You really didn't do anything wrong, he's over-reacting.


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't get what the big deal is... unless you told him you were a virgin before you met him or something? People have past relationships, it's part of life. You didn't cheat on him so you didn't do anything wrong. There's either more to the story or he's really overreacting.

  • Dont worry I think I loves you too much that's why he is reacting the same way. My boy friend is just like that. Though it is hard for u, you can tell that the guys loves you so much from this reaction. Don't worry you will be together. please don't listen to people saying give him time and stuff.. just don't let him go! call him up often try to make sure he is on the same page as u. All the besT! god bless you two xxx