He's leaving to pursue NFL dream and I get no title?

The guy I've been talking to says that I fit the mold for marriage, I’m unlike any woman he’s met, and a lot more but he can't give me a commitment since he can't provide me with all my son and I deserve right now. (He is NOT the father of my child.) He mentions not holding me back from other relationships from someone who can do that for me, if I choose to start dating when he leaves. I try to say I don't want to date around while he's away, but I think we both know he also wants to keep his options open to make sure he's committing to the right person before he does settle into something serious. Plus, as a man, he probably wants to be able to have "fulfillment" while he's in others states, even if it’s just casual, so why commit to someone so far away? He had a failed 6 year relationship with someone overseas who he thought he’d marry and everything went to hell, so I think this also plays a part in his hesitance. He'll be 28 this year and is pursuing his dream to make the NFL and won't stop until he makes it or something major keeps him from it. With the IFL season being over, soon he's moving back to his home state (which isn't even close to mine) so he can get in shape for next season which will back here where I live, or he hopes to get a call from the NFL, CFL, or UFL. As a woman in love, how do I let him go with no title while he pursues his dream? I know I can't force it but what is the best way to handle myself and him while he's gone, so that I stay a friend and possible partner when he's ready to settle? He mentioned considering settling down after he signs a 3-5 year contract somewhere so he knows where he'll be living for longer than a year, unlike the IFL contracts. I’ve accused him before of not even considering making me a part of his future, but a week ago he asked how I assume that. When I told him it’s because he isn’t willing to give me a title to secure that we’re together, he said he doesn’t like telling me too much because he doesn’t want to crush my hopes if things don’t work out. I asked if the only way he was considering making me a part of his plans are if he ends up back here next season, and he said not necessarily so it makes me think I may not be off the table completely… He just doesn’t want to tell me anything until the day he actually has to leave or whatever. I want it to be clear that we see each other every day and he practically lives with me and my son. I understand it all and why he's doing this, just not sure how to cope. Thank you!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 1

  • wow that big. well I am sorry you have to go thre this but I think you should tell h I'm exactly how you feel and just let him know you will be there always to support him in his dream and be his biggest #1 fan. I know that's not how you want it but it is what it is. I hope you find the strength to move forward. God Bless.

    • That's great advice and thank you... I think just being his biggest fan and living my life will be an attractive package, and also keep me fron putting my life on hold waiting for him. That's not sexy at all to men! Oh, I did do one nice gesture though that keeps me close to him... He wears wristbands and one broke, so I had a personlized one made for him with special sayings on the outisde and inside. #1 fan and friend... I can do that. We'll see where it takes us.