I really like this guy, he fancies me, but only physically I'm afraid?

So, I really need advice about this guy (hence my post here). If you don't wanna read the whole story, just read the recap at the end, lol, thanks!

I met a guy a year ago, I felt like "lust at first sight", we had a connection, laughed, got along great, I wanted him the minute I saw him. Too bad the feeling wasn't mutual. Even worse is I fessed up and told him I was into him even though I didn't know him that well. So we drifted apart but after a while we became friends again and I never said another word about my feelings for him. Half a year ago he kissed me, I know it was just for fun since he never asked me out on a date or anything. He's really picky on the girls he dates and it takes a while for him to fall in love. I dated someone a couple of months back but that didn't work out. Last weekend I saw that crush again, and we both were a bit tipsy (except for me, I was a total drunk that night, not really proud of it but that's not the issue). I lost my friends and he lost his that night and we ended up in the bar together. A little bit flirting, teasing, talking "sexy", lol. Anyways, we kissed/teased kissed and he asked me to come over to his place to hug (I'm not that stupid, I know he didn't mean hugging) and I said no. The subject came to sex and he told me he wants to have sex with me.

Not a problem for me, but the problem is that I'm afraid that's all he wants. I really like this guy and although he never gave me reasons to think he's into me, I'm into him. But I said no to the home-invite Because I knew I'd feel used and bad about it later.

I know women can't manipulate men to make them fall in love with them (I'm no Miss Universe, but I don't look bad, I think I'm a fun person to hang out with and whathaveyou), but it's kinda killing me that after a year he still shows no interest in me whatsoever, just the sexpart.

So if any of you have advice on how to "handle" this (little recap: I fancy a guy, would like a relationhip with him, he's very picky on his girlfriend, doesn't fall in love easily, tells me I'm too hard to get sometimes, but he doesn't text me himself to hang out, all he probably wants is sex)?

Ps: I know I sound kinda pathetic right now, lol.


Most Helpful Guy

  • stay clear until he makes some effort with you, don't act on your emotions alone, or your going to end up used, so what until he is ready to make an effort towards you, he needs to show you he's worthy of your talents, not you proving to him,x


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You sound fine.

    I don't think your chances are good.

    You've already told him you like him.

    I think he knows if you were dating, you'd be having sex.

    I assume he's not interested in that.

    Move on.

  • Nothing pathetic, you've got your head screwed on, aren't a clueless victim in this.

    Personally, I'd just submit to him, have sex, see where it takes you

    • That would leave me with two situations: either he develops feelings for me or he thinks I'm easy and that I have no selfrespect so he won't respect me and we'd definitely wouldn't get to dating...

What Girls Said 1

  • I know what you mean, I am talking to a guy who seems this way. We met half a year ago on my trip and we are from the same state and live 40min from each other. I said no, once he asked me out the first time when we got back to our homes because he asked me out to drink, and it was 12am (you can imagine). Then he would call me and I would not answer, even though I feel something for him. 5 months later I come again on my trip to see my fam, and so does he...(our grandparents come from small towns near by), Anyways, we talked one day at a party, he got touchy, I told him I was not easy, he poured out some feelings about him talking to some girl and nothing happened because he was not ready to respect her, but that he is not so bad anymore...etc. I ended up leaving because he walked away when I would not let him get touchy, he say I WAS TOO DELICATE. (He just wanted to mess around). 3 days later he comes looking for me to ask me out...and I feel the same way as you, why go out with him if I know he is attracted to me physically. Although I can't stop thinking about him. I MYSELF TOLD THIS GUY, I AM NOT THOSE TYPE OF GIRLS THAT JUST HAVE FLINGS...ETC. I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR JUST SOME FUN, AND LET HIM KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, THAT WAY IF HE IS NOT BEING SERIOUS, HE WILL WALK AWAY, IF HE REALLY LIKES YOU, HE WILL CONTINUE AND TRY HARDER TO MAKE THIS THING MORE THAN JUST LUST.

    ps. sorry for the long story, just thought I would share a similar story. You are not the only girl going through this.

    • Join the club I'd say, at least he asked you out on a proper date, my crush didn't even do that.

      Fact is, I am in for fun, just not with him because I don't want him to think I'm easy and I don't respect myself...

    • Show All
    • I don't need him to pour out his feelings but just some clarity and some info on if there are feelings would be nice :p lol

    • That is all us girls really need, clarity >.<

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