Caught between 3 guys. Bad at the whole relationship thing, help me out here?

So it's kind of a long story, but I really have no idea what to do.

It all started a few months ago, with a guy named Brandon. We had mutual friends and even though we never talked about being in a relationship, we were always together. But soon after he moved out of state to boot camp for the army, though he's gonna be back here in a couple of weeks. I would like to be with him but when he's gone for so long, this is not an option.

We still talk, but since then I met another guy named James. He and I also had mutual friends, and have been on and off. From the beginning, I told him I didn't want anything serious and he agreed but after a while he got really attached and hurt when I wasn't around 24/7. As of right now he wants me to be with him or to not talk to me at all. I don't know what to do because though I like him, I don't want to be with him or anybody for that matter. How do I get him to stop being mad at me and accept the fact that I just want to be friends?

Also, lately I've been texting this guy who I do like, but due to the situation I'm in right now, do not want nothing more than to be friends. The problem is he talks to me like I'm more than a friend even though we've never actually been together. (e.g. Hey sexy, I wake up to goodmorning texts every morning, etc.) How do I tell him without offending him that as of right now I just want to be friends?

Please read and help asap. None of this was intentional and now I don't know how to get out of it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • First tell them what you think.

    Then change you're behavior and stop trying to get guys attention if you're not serious about them.

    Some people may say that's a little whorish, I won't be so harsh as to go that far, yet.

    • well I appreciate the honesty and I understand why I come off like that to people but really I never went looking for attention, I'm just out of a really hard 5 year relationship and before that I was never really in anything so serious. I try to tell them what I think but don't know how to go about any of this without hurting anybody.

    • Never trying to hurt anybody means you're the one you ends up hurting. The best thing you can do for anyone is these situations is be honest., both with them and to yourself. Nobody wants to be given the runaround or fed a bunch a BS. The sting can come quick and now or it can be slow and later.

      It's the choice to die quick or slow.

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