Girl is mad at me, how do I make things better?

First of all, we have this weird relationship where we argue all the time but it seems that's how we communicate and there are times were we push each other buttons. Me, as a guy, I don't care what she says when she acts bitchy and let it go, however, she is a lot more sensitive and can hold things against me for a long time.

She is mad at me and tells me that even if I'm sorry, that words aren't enough and I have to show her. I told her I could just stop talking to her and leave her alone but says she doesn't want that, she doesn't want me to run away and I need to fix this. I wanna do it but the thing is that she is still mad and its obvious something is bugging her, even though she is talking to me, I can tell something is off.

I'm a bit impatient, I don't want to do this little by little, is there a way I can show her I'm sorry and she'll talk to me "regularly" (and by that, I mean teasing me non stop). She told me that when I treat her right, I'll get the reaction that I want. What can I do? I get irritated when she is short and distant with me and I think that's my main problem, what can I do? And no, we are not dating, we are not even friends (At least that's what she says) and yet we like talking to each other a lot.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Let her know that when you upset her, you really want to know what you've done wrong so that you can *understand* how she feels and that you'll take immediate (as corny as it sounds, find something better to say) action to make things better / not do that again.

    Saying sorry never works. She's backing off because she feels like you're not trying. Saying "sorry" is not considered trying. She doesn't feel heard when that's the only response you give her. You have to explain in details to her where you went wrong so it shows that you actually understand what she means, then only can she feel secure that you will do something right about it.

    If you keep up with this sorry business without understanding (or at least her feeling like you're not understanding) she'll start shrugging you off instead of telling you how she feels, this is out of immaturity and frustration and not knowing how on earth she can react to you because she's out of reactions. Maybe she's just not explaining things to you properly, if this is the case you need to ask her to open up to you so you can get to know her better.

    A clueless guy in this kind of situation is not cute, it's rather annoying.

    Lol I just read that you're not dating... anyway, just be assertive with her and if she's not assertive, tell her the importance without using that word, just give her examples sorta so she gets the point of it. If she doesn't want to bother with that there's not much hope unless you just want to put up with that behavior.

    • My main problem is the way I act at times. SHe has ALWAYS treated me differently from other guys (or people in general). SHe is very friendly and chatty, except with me. SHe gets quiet and stuff and when I go up to her to talk, she does respond, but not quite the way she responds with others. The only way she smiles at me or feels at ease is when she is calling me names and making fun of me. I don't mind it but there are times when I get a bit tires and throw snide comments at her and gets upset

    • I guess you need to find out why she treats you differently as awkward as it might be for her to answer. :P Because if she's allowed to do it and you're not (if I'm translating this properly), that's pretty hypocritical. Maybe she doesn't understand how her actions really impact people in general (or you) so when someone does it to her, it's surprising. Maybe she has this image of you that she thought was you so when you do something out of 'character' she gets upset?

    • She might even have a certain stigma about guys like... they're so nice that they couldn't possibly say anything mean to her. She might not be used to it either or she doesn't see you say those things to other girls, etc.

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