Should we stay together?

From time to time I doubt if I should stay with my boyfriend. I feel like we've been fighting over the same thing over and over again. We've been together for one and a half years. I'm a "Now" person who deal with the near future, but he's the type of guy who plans for the "future", the far away future. We always end up fighting because I'd like to do things "now" while he thinks there's no need to rush because "we have the rest of our lives to do all these things". Even "simple" things like going to places or having a specific type of meals can take a long time unless I plan them and have them carried out. I started feeling tired to have to be the one who always have to plan for what we do. He is not wrong to want to plan for the far away future. Instead, I should be glad that he is, but then when my needs to be able to enjoy the now moments are not met, I don't know how we can have the far away future together.

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    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a feeling that you aren't happy in your relationship with your boyfriend. You are content.

    Well, sometimes when we become unhappy in a relationship, we start picking on trivial things to justify the frustration or the lack of happiness we are feeling inside. I mean you start to forget about the bigger picture and obsess over petty things. It's only a reflection of unhappiness.

    The differences that exist between you might have been the reason you were attracted to one another in the very beginning, but over time you start to see the negatives and overlook the positives. Why? because you're...simply...unhappy.

    Sometimes when we are too absorbed in the relationship, we start to focus on little trivial details and forget about the big picture. There are lots of important questions you need to ask yourself. Are you really happy? Is he the man you see yourself with years or even months from now? Are you satisfied on different levels from being with him? Do you feel safe with him? Are you willing to accept his negatives and appreciate his positives? etc...

    Personally, when I find myself focusing on trivial stuff, concerning anything, I start to switch off this way of thinking and switch on to the bigger picture channel. It will help you get the answers you want.

    I am not telling you to breakup with him because I believe in sorting things out and I believe that everything can work out if you both want to. I encourage you to sit him down and talk through everything that's bothering you. Be polite, calm and sweet and tackle every problem that's standing like a wall between you. Tell him how you feel and listen to what he has to say. Observe his attitude. See if he cares to listen. See if he considers your feelings. Don't forget to be calm and not to make it look like an interrogation. Just a normal chat.

    If you like how he responds, then it's great to know that he cares and is willing to work hard in the relationship. If he acts defensive or whatever, then it's your choice to stay or leave based on how you feel after talking to him.

    I hope you get the answers you want. Remember to focus on the bigger picture now.

    Have a nice day. :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • if you want different things, no


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