Why did my boyfriend cut me off his life with no explanation?

My boyfriend and I met 4 months ago on a dating site. We immediately clicked and started seeing each other regularly. He lives in a town 50 miles from mine, so we could only see each other 1-2 a week, but met on a regular basis. We shared interests, had great conversations and great sex. About 4 weeks ago we had a fight about sth trivial (the usual: I was pissed off he was spending more time with his firends than me), he was drunk and said he 'found the thing between us confusing'. I panicked and took the first bus the next morning to see him. We had a 'serious' conversation, in which he told me he wanted to be with me, but didn't want to compromise his firends, hobbies and work for me, also that he didn't like how our meetings weren't spontaneous anymore and that he he needed to reorganise his life to fit me in more. I showed understanding and support and said I'd give him more space. So the following weekend I didn't say a word when he demonstratively spent 3 days in a row with his friends. On Saturday that weekend he called me, sounding guilt-ridden and suggested he would come over next week. I said I was free on Tuesday, he said okay. On Tuesday there was no message from him, I emailed asking where he was (His phone was broken but he has Internet access at work). On Wednesday he emailed saying 'I finally got a new phone and just saw your message. I have no memory of this? When did we arrange this?!' I thought it was a blatant lie, so emailed back 'Call me tonight after 8 (if you dare)'. He never replied or called and that was 3 weeks ago. What the hell is he thinking and what have I done to deserve being ditched without even being informed why etc.?...


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sorry, but it sounds to me like a simple case of him feeling smothered simply because he can't handle a little change in his life. It's not your fault, some people are just like that & if you fight to keep it, it will only get worse.

    All you can do is leave him alone & some day when he matures a little & realizes that friends aren't the ONLY thing in life, he may realize & come back. But like I said, chasing & trying to find answers with people like that makes it worse.

    He simply does not know how to be in a committed relationship.


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